Rob's Closet

Okay. Let's put this baby to bed.

2012-02-09T22:21:00.005-06:00

So...I've been a bit preoccupied since I heard about Jackson and his new girlfriend. Sorry guys.

So this is all I'm going to say about the matter...

What...too soon?

Twangies on Thursday...

2012-02-09T21:45:00.000-06:00

Schwing!

The Cuntness Continues...

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000-06:00

Another day, another Catherine Hardwicke interview where she is blabbing on about Crapsten. Seriously woman, aren't you a movie director - go direct some fucking movies and stop telling the world about how you're responsible for creating The World's Hottest Couple TM.

The latest crap to spew out of her mouth is how she feels guilty for breaking up RC's favourite couple in the whole universe ever, Stewregano.

She whined: "Michael's a wonderful actor. He was in Dogtown, one of my favourites, so I felt pretty bad because I love him, and they were such a great couple."

That's right, Cathy, they were a great couple! Look what you did you silly moo! *wipes tear* Since Kristen dumped Michael for Rob I have hardly been able to get out of bed in the morning! *sobs* I mean, who is poor Oregano going to smoke his bong with now? *sniffles* Life is just meaningless these days! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! *snots everywhere*

All I have to ease the pain is my memories... [cue video]

via Perez Hilton

No Matter How Bad Things Seem...

2012-02-08T23:04:00.002-06:00

Rob's always there to make it better. Love you bitches.

Rob versus....

2012-02-08T15:40:00.000-06:00

...Daniel Radcliffe.

So I was googling the other day and spotted something which at first looked as though I had stumbled on a new Bel Ami still so you can image my scream when in fact I found myself, hand down pants, looking at none other than Harry Potter (I never say that in any other voice but Hagrids) himself!

Oh dear.

It was quite the shock...

So... who do you think does the 19th century better? Our Rob or dear ole Dan?

Happy Hump Day!

2012-02-08T13:30:00.000-06:00

[Image source]

Holy Twinity: I fucking love them but...

2012-02-08T12:46:00.001-06:00

...why can't they do magazine covers like this?

(I suspect the cockblockers at EW may have airbrushed out Damon's buttcrack though...)

I don't know about you lot, but this was just what I needed to relight my Damon fire. He's been going a bit soft in recent episodes of Vampire Diaries, and while Stefan might be trying to take over the bad boy mantle, he's about as convincing as the time Mark Owen went 'grunge' in his post-Take That solo career. (For our Stateside readers, think Justin Bieber trying to do death metal.)

Now that I come to think of it, Damon's not the only bad boy vamp to wimp out on us lately - what about Amnesiac Eric in the latest season of True Blood? Airy-fairy 'lovemaking' with Sookie in the snow - er, hello? That's not the wham-bam-fuck-you-maam vampire we know and love!

For all their (many) faults, at least Stephenie Meyer and Cougar Cathy had the good sense to kill of James before he turned into a wuss...

"I'm so fucking badass I don't even need a shirt."

via Entertainment Weekly

Googlewhack...

2012-02-07T22:19:00.003-06:00

This one goes out to all my bitches having a hard time dealing with reality right now. Represent.

Its shit like this that has me paying in to shit like Breaking Dawn.

2012-02-07T14:41:00.000-06:00

Oh to be her for just one minute... this minute. Please.

Catherine Hardwicke - Still a Cunt.

2012-02-07T14:35:00.000-06:00

Oh Cathy, build a fucking bridge will ya?

Erm...

2012-02-07T13:18:00.000-06:00

At what stage is it OK to call Social Services on a Twi-Mom exactly....?

Ah either way you'd be getting a Ride of him...

2012-02-07T08:54:00.000-06:00

Just in the last hour...

2012-02-06T17:03:00.000-06:00

...this is what brought 52 of you to our shores. The two people who googled "Charlie Bewley Naked"? The following sentence is for you. Robs Closet reserve the right to refuse entry to any person or persons showing strange tendencies, weird fetish or just downright bad taste. OUT! And you? The Happy Trail girl? Welcome. Take a seat, I'll get you a drink, its going to be a long night.

It should have been me...

2012-02-06T13:15:00.000-06:00

When my Inbox was flooded with an unusually high number of Google Alerts for Jackson Rathbone this afternoon, I gotta admit, I initially freaked out that he might have died. But no. He's just knocked up his girlfriend.

You heard me. JACKSON IS GOING TO BE A DAD.

Jackson and Sheila, I'm so delighted for you both and I'm sure you will make wonderful parents. In fact, I'm so happy for you right now, I wanted to take a picture of myself celebrating the amazing news...

On the bright side, The Rathboner will make one helluva DILF...

Fuck You February

2012-02-06T08:00:00.000-06:00

I fucking hate February. It's cold, boring, and doesn't have enough days in it to constitute being a real month. So to cheer myself - and I'm sure many of you - up, let me present The Many Faces of Rob Looking Like A Twat. (A Sexy Twat, for sure, but A Twat nonetheless.)

*cue music*

Did we miss your favourite Rob Looking Like A Twat picture? Email us at mailbag.robscloset@gmail.com or twat us on Twitter @robs_closet

Soft Porn Sunday...

2012-02-05T22:24:00.000-06:00

Get a bucket...

2012-02-05T22:06:00.001-06:00

...you're going to need it to puke in.

He laughs because it IS fucking ridiculous...

2012-02-05T20:31:00.000-06:00

I just got some cream in my coffee... True story.

2012-02-05T14:08:00.003-06:00

The Holy Trinity of Hotness...

Roblor 4EVA

2012-02-05T10:30:00.000-06:00

Where can I buy THIS version of New Moon? My collection just wouldn't be complete without it. Or the, ahem, exclusive free gift.

[Image source]

Shag-Me-Saturday... Ohgoodfuckthismanshotnessknowsnobounds...

2012-02-04T14:50:00.000-06:00

Googlewhack! "Taylor Lautner is..."

2012-02-04T10:30:00.000-06:00

No comment.

Screw Me Saturday: Crufts Special

2012-02-04T09:30:00.000-06:00

When Closet regular Sonia sent us a link for this video with the words "Porn starts at 1:00", we were expecting fingerporn, hairporn, maybe even jawporn - not actual porn. We were wrong.

So for those of you who fancy seeing Paulex getting very steamy with a stripper - including a nice little wolfie butt flash - watch away.

Warning for AAE: This is a teensy bit raunchier than the sex scene in The Notebook, my love, so you might want to avert your eyes... or at least pretend to.

Oh the humanity...

2012-02-03T21:54:00.004-06:00

...except, I'm not sure it's human.*

*So, I googled Jackson Rathbone the other day and ran across this little beaut.

If this bitch does not burn her pencils, I'm going to hunt her down and do it for her I swear to God.

Is it just me...?

2012-02-03T14:46:00.000-06:00

...or does Edward look like KD Lang in this picture... *shudders*

Fuck Me Friday: Rathboner Edition

2012-02-03T11:30:00.000-06:00

Why I Love Jackson In This Picture

by Bean

#1 - He's already starting to take his clothes off.

#2 - He looks extremely happy about it.

via jackson-rathbone.com

Nice Muffins

2012-02-03T09:30:00.000-06:00

Ah, Tinsel. We always knew you were a true RC gal at heart.

Fan Fic Fail!

2012-02-02T20:56:00.003-06:00

To the disturbed person that created this: You're fucking fired.

Another Optical Illusion... Can you see it?

2012-02-02T14:30:00.003-06:00

I'm not great at these Optical Illusions, but apparently if you stare at this picture and relax your eyes you can see pink flowers.... Do you see them? I've been staring at it for an hour and I still can't see any flowers. Let us know if any of you can see them!

FAN FAIL

2012-02-02T11:30:00.000-06:00

Well, at first glance it's a Fan Fail - a shit-tastic piece of Edward and Bella 'artwork' that you can buy on Etsy for half your life savings.*

But take a closer look and you might want to rebrand this picture a 'Fan Win'. Why, I hear you ~~scream~~ ask? Because there are so many things I fucking LOVE about it!

- Exhibit A: Bella is totes checking out Edward's arse. You know you'd be doing the same if you were her.

- Exhibit B: If you look closely you can see the 'artiste' has painted a little wolf in the background. And even from a distance you can see it's thinking, 'Edward and Bella on a fucking tandem?! What a pussy!'

- Exhibit C: Check out the fingerporn on Edward.

- Exhibit D: Bella looks like she's having a little unicorn on the back of the bike. I don't know if it's the view of Edward's butt or just the position of the saddle. But she's giving some serious 'O' face back there.

- Exhibit E: They have a FUCKING FIRST AID KIT on the bike.

*probably

A different kind of fingerporn...

2012-02-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

See?

2012-02-01T23:34:00.003-06:00

That guy that played Cedric's gonna be alright.

MINDFUCK

2012-02-01T15:00:00.000-06:00

You've probably all seen those 'Mindfuck' pictures doing the rounds on Facebook. You know the ones - everything looks normal but after you've stared at the photo for about three hours (while reassuring the boss you've been working hard on that project that's overdue) you finally realise there's something not quite right.

Well, the new Bel Ami movie poster is truly FUCKING WITH MY MIND.

Can you see it? Look into Rob's eyes...

He's staring back at you.

NO, HE'S NOT!! HE'S LOOKING OVER TO THE LEFT!

Now he's looking at you again.

NOOOO! HE'S LOOKING OVER TO THE LEFT AGAIN!!

Etc. Etc.

Is Rob really boss-eyed? Or is this just a cruel trick to make Robsessed fans think they are going mad when they stare at the poster too hard? Or do I just need to get my eyes tested? Answers on a postcard...

EDIT: The way Rob's eyes are following me around the room reminds me of something.... Hmm.... Got it!

I always knew Rob was a work of art!

Is it just me...?

2012-02-01T14:13:00.002-06:00

...Or is Taylor's waxwork more fuckhawt than its real life counterpart?

I've never really been into the whole doggy-style thing, but... when can I pre-order my life-size replica doll from Etsy?

And how did they get it soooooooo wrong with Rob's waxwork?

Fan Win!

2012-01-31T20:06:00.005-06:00

Her sign says what? Sorry...busy staring at how fuckhawt PFach is in this pic...strange...

Meow...

2012-01-30T22:03:00.002-06:00

Methinks there's about to be a catfight.

Moan on Monday...

2012-01-30T12:23:00.000-06:00

Got these over on Robsessed to start the week off with some Monday BLUES in the porn sense of the word...

Jaw Porn....

Chest porn...

Bicep porn...

Just Plain Rob Porn...

Back Porn...

Finger, Jaw, Bicep, Pyjama Porn... *Dies*

Thanks to Toni xx

Thanks Facebook...

2012-01-29T21:07:00.004-06:00

For reminding me why I hate families.

Screw Me Sunday... how I wish he would... (but this would probably be his reaction if I suggested it...*sad face)

2012-01-29T12:11:00.000-06:00

Oh I fucking love him...I just fucking love him...*wails*

CAPTION CONTEST

2012-01-28T16:47:00.000-06:00

Ladies, get your comedy hats on and give us a caption to this great picture from the Peoples choice award.
The winner...with the most likes, well, the winner gets to be hilarious. That is really all...

Googlewhack!

2012-01-27T19:00:00.002-06:00

Proof that there are stranger people out there than Rob-Stalkers...

FUCK ME FRIDAY

2012-01-27T16:44:00.000-06:00

UNF. UNF UNF YOU FUCKING SCREW.

TWANGIE-THURSDAY

2012-01-26T16:42:00.000-06:00

Perhaps just stand where you are for a minute Girls, nobody likes the sounds of thighs chaffing.

Twi-Moms... Thats a frightening place for any child to get his lunchbox from.

2012-01-26T16:39:00.000-06:00

Is it just me...

2012-01-24T23:28:00.007-06:00

Or does Felix look like a totally 'roided out version of Ben Graupner?

This is what would have happened...

2012-01-23T20:56:00.006-06:00

If our fearless author had used herself as a basis for Edward instead of Bella.

Let's be thankful it turned out the way it did, shall we?

Nice legs, Kellan

2012-01-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

I wonder does he wax?

Who's Responsible For This??

2012-01-22T21:42:00.000-06:00

"Da-da!"

Because water births should never have bubbles. Shameful.

Shag Me Sunday: Crufts Special

2012-01-22T13:44:00.000-06:00

Looks like the wolf gals finally got their claws into TayTay... and he's looking all the better for it. Grrr!

via Total Film

My Nana likes Twilight and is going through that 'mad granny' phase...

2012-01-22T07:17:00.003-06:00

Because someone decided Twilight wasn't gay enough...

2012-01-21T22:35:00.000-06:00

This full-on episodic gay porn written and directed by Afton Nills is built around the characters of Edmund and his male star-crossed lover Billa. I'm not offended by people with penises mauling other people with penises. But I am concerned that Steph would never approve. These bitches have fangs.

Reason #457683 why I hate The Hunger Games.... nearly finished thank God so I can finally throw the lot in the toilet. But at least she has spawned a new genre - Shit Lit.

2012-01-20T11:31:00.000-06:00

Yeah? Well I'm fucking surprised too Katniss you fucking idiot because everyone knows you don't need a tongue to talk so why Pollux doesn't make sound is a fucking mystery but well, he is obviously not only mysterious but seriously fucking talented since you definitely definitely definitely need a fucking tongue to whistle.

This is what is going to happen...

2012-01-19T09:39:00.002-06:00

Reason #34581 why the Hunger Games annoys me... (and yet I keep reading!)

2012-01-18T12:08:00.002-06:00

What, do commas, not matter in this, crazy world of ShitLit?

That's It...

2012-01-18T09:04:00.004-06:00

Acknowledge that this is the ultimate Everything Jackson Porn. And bow to the Porn Queen*

*Then realize this image is from "When I was 17" on Mtv.

....I think I just imprinted....

You can leave your hat on...

2012-01-17T14:55:00.002-06:00

Just make sure that's all you leave on though, Rob.

Monkey Monday: Future Radio

2012-01-16T13:00:00.000-06:00

Can't believe it's been only month since I was jumping around like a loon to this at the Academy with J-Rad's glowstick... Flove it!

via vorkje

Circle of Truth

2012-01-16T09:00:00.000-06:00

It's OK, Ashley... I'd be on full beam too if I was standing that close to Rob.

Shag Me Sunday: Rathboner Special

2012-01-15T14:08:00.004-06:00

One from my personal home movie collection...*

*I wish

Thanks MC!

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself...

2012-01-15T13:39:00.003-06:00

In America, our elected officials act as our collective voice. And I'd like to be that for you, ladies (and that one guy who will never admit he comes here).

As RC's newest blogger-elect, I thought it vital to let you know where I stand on the important issues.

Taylor on my (soap) box.

I'm a lifelong student of the supernatural...

Mommy, can I pleeeease be in a Sam-and-Dean-which?!.

I believe the Twiverse is equally dumb and fuckawesome.

Much like this cake.

I'm less Bitchward and more Jaspuss.

Okay, sometimes he's ALMOST hot as fuck but holyshitwaitwhatsthis...

...ooooohhhhhhhhffffuuuuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkaboomgoesthepanties

I sorta hate that ~~She Whore/God~~ Stephenie Meyer for reasons I might never reveal. But she did write the most addicting/mind-muddling/crazier-than-a-Hardwicke 'Son of a Bitch' ever printed. The fucking bitch.

Rob and Twilight author Stephenie M--errr, my mistake....

I am definitely not against Krisbianism, but I like my girls with a little more meat.

This...

Not this. Although...still hot.

But even if my views aren't always totally copacetic, dear Readers,

I hope you'll still trust I'll give you exactly what you need to get those panties a-blastin'.

After all, there are plenty of fails...

goddamn you Etsy!!

WTFs...

Get off Paul Walker, you multi-national retail giant whore.

And Holyshitwhyno's to go keep us all busy...

Baaaaa.

We love you

You be my bitches, I'll be yours.

At least, that how it's supposed to work here in America.

WHY for fuck's sake? WHY?!?!?

Love and exploded panties for all,

Jade xxx

I laughed so hard I farted.

2012-01-14T21:12:00.000-06:00

NEW BLOGGER ON ROBS CLOSET!!

2012-01-13T13:39:00.001-06:00

So we sent out owls last year hoping that we could have a four man team here at Robs Closet headquarters, giving you more reason to buy shamwows then ever. The response was overwhelming and it has taken us till now to choose our new blogger - the entries were DEADLY! Thanks to all of you.

So here she is. Jade. Our new blogger. A serious contender for the title of SeriouslyDirtyMinded that Bean won last year.... Lets give her a big hand up the jumper on her first day...!

AAE xx

Rob on hearing the news...

That's right bitches. The name is Jade, and I want you to love me.

Now let me win that love by offering you bribes of Underwear Rob...

...and cupcakes.

Here comes the deliciousness.

Looking forward to getting to know you all, you pack of filthy bitches!

Love, Jade xx

Ba ha ha...

2012-01-12T21:10:00.000-06:00

Hair today...

2012-01-12T16:29:00.002-06:00

Is it just me, or did anyone else think they may have been transported back to the '70s in their hot tub time machine when watching the People's Choice Awards last night? It totally blew my mind when I saw Eagle-Eyed Action Man going up up to accept an award, with his super-sexy flock hair crewcut...

Wait-WHAT?!

Meanwhile, ~~Action Man~~ Rob (as predicted) was getting his flirt on with Ultimate Cougar Betty White by treating her to a striptease, clearly much to the shock of the man sitting on the other side of Rob.

Why stop at the jacket, Rob? You need to convince us you have more down there than poor old Action Man...

What do you think of Rob's new 'do? Tell us in the comments section below!

FAN FAIL

2012-01-12T14:32:00.000-06:00

Thank god this has the 100 Monkeys logo on it or I would have no clue who this is.

I mean, it looks nothing like Ben Graupner...

YOWZAH... Its TRIBADE-THURSDAY...!

2012-01-12T09:06:00.000-06:00

Happy Hump Day!

2012-01-11T17:30:00.000-06:00

Nothing like a bit of sweaty Rad-Bone dancing to make your Hump Day happy!

Oooh, Kristen's gonna be well jeal...

2012-01-11T16:12:00.002-06:00

Rob will be sitting next to the legend that is Golden Girl Betty White at the People's Choice Awards tonight - and we're sure he's going to be flirting his little butt off with her. After all, he once said: "I think Betty White is probably one of the sexiest women in America."

We salute you, Betty: the ultimate cougar!

Cartoon Rob on Family Guy

2012-01-11T14:30:00.001-06:00

I still would.

Like this? You'll love this!

via SpunkRansom.com

Nikki Reed is starring in a new movie called "Downer's Grove"

2012-01-11T08:56:00.000-06:00

Suits her.

What I'd like for my birthday.

2012-01-10T15:11:00.001-06:00

Twangies Tuesday

2012-01-10T14:53:00.000-06:00

Rob. In mustard. Only my favorite colour... *THUD*

Kiowa. Looking like a man.

2012-01-10T06:17:00.002-06:00

I've always complained that Kiowa looked like a pakistani girl I went to school with. His new hair do has de-Sunita-fied him but I still can't fancy the lad. I don't know what it is... residual WTFing from THAT weird ass photo? What was the deal with his leg?

Snow White versus...err...Snow White...

2012-01-09T11:42:00.000-06:00

TWO Snow White movies are going head to head this new year. Firstly we have Mirror Mirror starring Lily "Are-those-seriously-your-real-fucking-eyebrows?" Collins and Julia "I-cannot-get-through-a-movie-without-doing-that-donkey-laugh" Roberts as Snow White and the evil Queen.

Then we have our own darling Kristen "I-do-not-give-a-fuck" Stewart and Mizz Charlize "Holy-shit-that's-some-body" Theron as the respective Snow and Queen.

Lets share and compare some pictures from the movies to see how they 'fair'.

Little Lily looks like 'Its a Small World' mated with "Barbie' and had a baby.

Stewart looking FIERCE with that KStew mingle of sexy and hard ass which we have
grown to know and love. Also I am digging the retro shoulders. Very fashion forward.

Charlize is stunning in this role. Everything is screaming evil and power,
the hair, the make up, and the costumes are just amazing!!

Ummm...

Look at KStew in this movie...! She is so sexy, cool, and actually really really beautiful (these pics are worthy of a Wank-Me-Weekend!)

Stunning

Beautiful

So Pretty

Over to Mirror Mirror...

Ummmm.....

Looks like both movies put a lot of time and effort in to making the famous fairytale come to life on screen... however I have a feeling one of these movies reviews will be looking a bit Grimm after the they come out...

If there's one thing I hate more than Stephanie Meyer its musicals. HOWEVER...

2012-01-07T11:14:00.000-06:00

Apparently this bag of hotness is currently playing Harry Potter in some musical production of the JK Rowling stories? First of all you know I think Harry Potter is lacking in its hot males (bar the dead one in Goblet of Fire) and I have pressed a very different Harry into my brain while reading the books over Christmas. THIS ONE. Second of all you also know that the 'I've got a serious thing about redheads' side of me quite likes to look at Ron Weasley and his expanding shoulders from movie to movie so its not all bad.

Now a singing Harry? That looks like this? Hmmm I could sit through that...

Ha I have just had a thought. Twilight the Musical. Who would we cast and can we think of any songs? Get commenting below!

And again... is this somebody's fucking arm?

2012-01-06T13:26:00.000-06:00

*facepalm*

I'm not being funny but what part of the fucking body is this exactly? Is that some weird belly button?

2012-01-05T13:25:00.000-06:00

Yuck.

Wank me Wednesday

2012-01-04T13:20:00.000-06:00

What I am pressing into my imagination as I read book five...

2012-01-04T13:19:00.000-06:00

Can you imagine if Rob had gone for that fucking part? And got it?

(KNICKER EXPLOSION)

Somebody likes to pretend to be Robert Pattinson.

2012-01-03T19:15:00.000-06:00

Kellan Vs David Beckham

2012-01-03T14:52:00.001-06:00

Becks has a new underwear ad campaign - so it would be rude for us not to make the comparison, wouldn't it? I have to admit - I'm a little disappointed with David's photo. He's looking a bit paunchy and old in the face. Clearly life with Posh and four kids is taking its toll. But who has the better bulge? That's for you lot to decide!

Twitter Titter

2012-01-03T14:40:00.002-06:00

Oo-er Mr Cudmore. Who was the lucky lady, eh? *snort*

Twat us on Twitter @Robs_Closet

Ummm... anyone got an adult diaper? I need one for watching this. For sure.

2012-01-02T11:34:00.001-06:00

Caption contest...

2012-01-02T08:48:00.000-06:00

Now you listen, you quiet readers out there, we want you to join in this one. Come on, its just for fun.

Our readership has soared in the last month, so lets celebrate with a caption contest, the winner gets a limited edition Breaking Dawn notebook for their trouble. What do you think should be the caption on this photo of our beloved leader?

Go - captions in the comments!!

"----------???------------"

Fireworks in my pance.

2012-01-01T08:43:00.000-06:00

Seriously. I thought the exploding I could hear last night was fireworks, turned out it was my fallopian tubes combusting from staring at this picture for too long...

If you don't have anyone to kiss tonight, NOT TO WORRY - Robs Closet has a plan!

2011-12-31T14:33:00.000-06:00

We've provided you with two of Robs best kissy mouths for your own enjoyment, book yourself into a motel, pop those coins in the vibrating bed and you're off!

No need to thank us. It was our pleasure.

HAPPY NEW YEARS BITCHES!! Heres to us all in 2012!!

New Year Countdown, the best of the worst...

2011-12-31T13:13:00.000-06:00

So this year for the new year countdown we have decided to give you the best of the worst, those artistic fan fails which soar above all others...

10...

This is just so shit. I mean Bellas boobs and her little 'v-is-for-vadge' make me feel a bit sick but the way the 'Edward' (is it even remotely near the description given in the book?) is forcing her little hand onto his...dick-vadge?... thats just gicky. But its also fucking hilarious. Look at Bellas fingers. What the...? Drawing should be criminal for some people.

9.

Photoshopping is easy when you know how. This mentaller does not know how. Surgically attaching a baby to a girls face is never cute, even its purely virtual. Dislike.

8.

I have no words... its number eight.

7.

Um... what? Weirdly this looks like a picture of two french students we had staying with us when I was 13. Jean-Pierre and Franc. Weird.

6.

This would be sweet if it was drawn by a child, however it was not. *facepalm*

Who is this even? Edward or Jacob? Seriously....

Looks like somebody discovered 'Paint' on their parents computer...

Poor Edward, that branch sticking out of his head must really hurt. And as for Bellas melted prom face? Horrifying.

The person who made this needs to be euthanised before they do any more damage to the eyes of the world. Jesus. Stop it.

This is described as a "realistic pencil drawing of Robert Pattinson"... I totally agree, once you swap the word 'realistic' with the word 'fucking ridiculous'.

The winner. Yeah this is totally the winner, even though I suppose, technically, it is a good drawing. Its just that I kinda feel that if you are this good at shading and shit like that then you should be able to actually draw the fucking faces of the people you want in the picture.

So I must ask... who the fuck is this? It looks like my friend Gav with a bad waxwork of Megan Fox. Any idea?

I know where I'll be next Christmas...

2011-12-31T08:23:00.000-06:00

Apparently Rob was at his local pub this Christmas... with old friends and Sturridges Ex bird.
FUCK. Why am I such a lamo that I didn't forsee this? I could have performed my Santa Baby routine on the bar and with no Kristen around, Rob would totally have been mine.

Next year? I'm in London for sure...

New Years Resolution

2011-12-30T13:15:00.002-06:00

To look at this picture at least once a day... *drip...drip...drip*

Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggory Dog*...

2011-12-30T08:16:00.002-06:00

Sorry its been such a quiet Christmas, but I've been reading...

I've finally got into Harry Potter. I am midway through book 5 and frankly, I'm loving it (isn't Ron just lovely?) and after each book I've watched the corresponding movie.

Yes.

That means I just watched The Goblet of Fire...

*sobs*

It really was hard to watch my beloved being murdered by You-Know-Who without so much as a row, I'm not used to it...usually he is indestructible, but didn't he make a beautiful corpse? Hmmm I was having necrophilial thoughts I can tell you...

Nooo, if you aren't in this series then you might go on to become the worlds

sexiest man leaving me to just strip off with horses...

But the cutest thing happened when I watched the 8 hours of special features, including the "Day on Set with Cedric Diggory" - Rob says on screen "I rarely eat on set" and my 5 year old son pipes up "He is just saying that so they don't know he is a vampire"... Aw...

It was not hard to watch this interview, though I did nearly drown twice.

Anyway, here is a Tongue-me-Thursday, how old was Rob here? I mean I have nothing against a good CHILF but was he legal in this movie? Just so I know how dirty my thoughts really are!

Mmmmm.... I'd like the magic of his big wand, for sure...

*Oh and apologies for the title, anyone with a child and the disney channel will totally get me... and feel my pain.

Xmas is Cumming Day 24

2011-12-24T11:00:00.000-06:00

It's time for the final day in our countdown to Chrimbo. Who could possibly be behind door 24?? Click to find out!

Xmas is Cumming Day 23

2011-12-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

Kellan gets a new girlfriend

2011-12-23T06:35:00.000-06:00

Well, it's a definite improvement on the last two...

Seen as though it's Xmas...

2011-12-22T16:32:00.000-06:00

...We thought it would be fun to wheel this one out again!

Yup. Still funny as fuck.

Xmas is Cumming Day 22

2011-12-22T15:56:00.000-06:00

Oh la la! New Bel Ami trailer!

2011-12-22T06:28:00.000-06:00

Rob is looking tres, tres sexy in the new Bel Ami trailer. What a shame it's almost identical to the first trailer they released. However, we do get a new shirtless shot of Georges/Rob, who seems to have beefed up considerably since New Moon. Of course, there is always the possibility that Rob's pecs were painted on... And where the fuck is his weird left nipple?!

Xmas is Cumming Day 21

2011-12-21T13:30:00.000-06:00

We're almost at the end of our Xmas countdown... Which knicker explosion is waiting behind door 21? Click it to find out!

A little Christmas Cocktail I think you'll like...

2011-12-21T10:40:00.000-06:00

Twihard Aid '11

2011-12-21T10:00:00.000-06:00

Bob Geldof keeps releasing the Band Aid single every few years, so we thought, why not do the same with our awesome Twihard Aid song? (It's nothing at all to do with the fact that we've been hitting the mulled wine a little too hard here at RC Towers, which is limiting our songwriting abilities...) So once again, here's our effort at a charidee single: Feed The Cullens.

To the tune of Band Aid's "Do they know it's Christmas??"

Twilight- Don't they know it's f*cking awesome??*

(Accompanied by Rob on piano and Jackson on guitar)

We're saga fans
There's a need to be afraid
At Twilight time, we let in fun and we all wear plaid
And in our world of fantasy, we can spread a little filth
Throw your arms around a Twihard, at Twilight time
But say a fuck you
Fuck you to the other ones
At Twilight time, when the fans are all having fun
There are wankers outside our windows
And they should live in dread and fear
That we're going to get tired of the abuse, and kick them in the nuts
And the rocking Muse song that plays for us is their clanging chime of doom
Well tonight thank fuck it's them instead of you

And there won't be sun in Forks this Twilight time
The greatest gift we'll get this year is eternal life
(Oooh)Where no one ever dies
No sunbathing vampire ever fries
Don't you know Twilight is fucking awesome?!

(Here's to you) raise a glass to everyone
(Here's to them) sparkling underneath that hazy sun

Don't they know Twihards are fucking awesome?!
Feed the Cullens
Feed the Cullens
Feed the Cullens

Let them know we're Twilight fans

Feed the Cullens

Come on everyone, sing along!

Lyrics by ara08/GO_3STEN/TeamFrostyJunk

Xmas is Cumming Day 20

2011-12-20T16:46:00.000-06:00