Friday, March 30, 2012

It's Time...

My dearest darling bitches... 

The time has come to say Goodbye. We just can't do this anymore. Things have changed and its not like we wanted them to...they just did. Its not anyones fault. 

You know how it was when we first started. Blogging was all we could think about, we were doing it five times a day... but now we barely do it at all and we barely talk... 

We know what the problem is... we...we...we've met someone else. We're sorry but its true. AAE is fandangling with a 15th century Henry Cavill and lets just say Bean has a downton in her abbey... RIMR and MB are wrangling with real life love affairs and only last week when someone mentioned Rob, AAE was heard to say "Which Rob?" It was shocking. She hasn't gotten over it.

So we have talked it over and the time has come to break up this little love affair of ours. It just has to be... its not you, its us... we just aren't committed. We... we...want to blog about other people. *WAILS*

We want to thank you all for your loyal readership, we have seen such solid traffic through our darling blog over the last two and a half years and it has been so much fun.  Special thanks to our guest bloggers over the time we have taken up this little URL, Aloha, Mel61, and our current writer Jade who has been unfairly holding up the fort alone while we have been otherwise occupied...(has anyone got Tudors series 4?)
Please do read and comment on our old posts, there are over 2500 of them - have you read them all? Some of our first laughs were the best....and remain our all time favorites? Why not spend a half hour randomly clicking and see what you find?  

So in the words of our little Alice...

Its time.

Lots of Love,

AAE, Bean, RIMR & MB xxx

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Truth Tuesday

I guarantee if these two sold a sex tape, it would blow the revenue from all four Twilight movies out of the water.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dear Murderous Flesh-Devouring Rage,

You have never looked so earth-shatteringly hot.

You may now commence to having your complete and total way with me, even if it's slow and painful. Yeah, go ahead and make it reaaaallll painful.

Sincerely, Me. <3

No, wait...wasn't it Edward who was an ice bucket??

I can't even be arsed to feign enthusiasm over the fact that some waster has carved a Bella statue in Ice.

Here is a picture.


Most used words on RC...

So we don't say "Rob"?? WTF??

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Kristen: I fucking love her but...

Is that marijuana on her tits? She needs to take that off. NOW. *Ahem, the towel too.*

Breaking Down Breaking Dawn #352

So now we've all had sufficient time to stop squeeing at the new BD2 teaser trailer, we have a few questions:

* If Bella is "the same temperature now" as Edward, does she have permanently hard nips?

* Why is she still wearing that fugly ring?

* Who is that dude in the brown sweater...?

Oh wait, that's Jacob. Totes didn't recognise him with his shirt on...

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The First Time I Watched New Moon: Part 1

"Goddamn...I really want one of those giant muffins."

Sunday, March 18, 2012

I'm Feeling Lazy.

So Mr. Sour-Meme-Face has this one.

Friday, March 16, 2012

My First Time Watching Twilight: Part 1

"They're going to kiss. They're TOTALLY going to kiss!"

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

"Would You Fuck Me?"

"Because I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard."

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


I've just popped back out of my really busy RL for one second because 
apparently Americas sweetheart Jenny 'such little teeth' Garth and the 
good doctor are calling it a day.

Aw... *sad face*

Click over to one of my favorite blogs full of useless information, I thought those kids were gonna make it, for more information, or basically just to read what I wrote in someone elses words.


Monday, March 12, 2012

The Word: Twi-Humor.

The definition: Oh, you don't get it, bitch? Because you didn't watch the motherfucking movie. BOOYAH

Just in case...

Just in case Rob hasn't got the message that Nikki is, like, SOOOOO OVER HIM, she's released a song with hubby Paul McDonald to show the world how in love they are, and that she DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING CRAPSTEN that her so-called best friend nicked her boyfriend because she couldn't possibly be more loved up with someone new. You go girlfriend! *snaps fingers in a z-formation*

On a side note: don't tell anyone, but I actually love Nikki's voice on this song.

Please don't judge me. It's hard being a bitch 24/7!

Is it just me...?

...Or is Jackson's gf preggers with the rabbit from Donnie Darko?

Thanks to eagle-eyed reader Katie, who also said what we're all thinking, when we're not busy being delighted and happy for The Rathboner: "That's what he gets for knocking up a groupie." Personally, I think this is some kind of belated publicity stunt for Jackson's shit-tastic Donnie Darko sequel, S Darko...

Friday, March 9, 2012


How I felt seeing Edward again after watching 1 1/2 hours of tanned, buff, shirtless Lautner in New Moon.

Here's to Love.

Pretty much the same for all creatures.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Excuse me, Waiter...

But there's a Johnson in my WhatTheFuck-O's.

While AAE's Away...

Those that will....uh....uh.....huh? Sorry, what was I saying?

Monday, March 5, 2012

PUKE ALERT's just milk, right? It's gotta be milk.

Somebody pass the fucking eye bleach.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

I'm not dead.

Hey there, sorry I've been so quiet, I have been really busy with RL and my work.  Boring but true.  Hope to get back on the blogging track soon, Lots of Love, AAE xxx

P.S. Just while I'm gone here is a sweet little gif to keep you entertained...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

This One Speaks For Itself.

Seriously? Who comes up with this shit? My job is too easy.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I Apologize...

If y'all have already seen this.

But I think I'll take another look.

A question for my lawyer...

Is this legally acceptable grounds for a divorce?

Thanks MeadowGirl!

Saturday, February 25, 2012


When you see'll scream pedophile.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


We loved this email we got to our mailbag today! Poland Twelve Points!

"Helloooo Rob's Closet's ninjas ;)

I'm your secret psychotic follower. I think there's no other way with Rob's Closet - loyal, wild and definately psychotic :) But for the first time I'm writing to You. And for the first time with a little funny tip:

This is an old polish interview with Rob about Eclipse. Seems normal, right? Rob interviewed by a woman, about Eclipse, bla bla. But Rob admits he's learing polish (for the Water for Elephants) and he gives a sample of it. 0:23' "Podnies nogÄ™"...

and I got hysterical! "Podnies nogÄ™" means "Lift your leg" ! and he said that to a woman.

I want to be that woman! I can lift my leg! Both of them!

Sinfully... I mean sincerely yours,


Thanks Mnemosyne (isn't that the name of Bellwards baby?)

It's This is Thucking Disgusting Thursday!

Shhhh...don't stare straight at it. It bites when it's nervous.

Thanks to Gonna_Eat_Me_Alot_Of Peaches!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Oh the humanity...the Apocalypse

Wait...wait...before you freak out, this is NOT supposed to be some deformed version of Dylan McDermott (was he maimed at the end of American Horror Story?!) This is, in fact, our own fearless antagonist, Mr. Pattinson himself!

Commence with the've earned it...

Monday, February 20, 2012

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Friday, February 17, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

It never gets old...

...making jokes about uncomfortable plotholes.

Jackson: I fucking love him but...

...what the fuck is that on his leg?!

It would appear he has a bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup tattooed on his calf. Now, I love Heinz tomato ketchup as much as the next person - but not enough to have it permanently inked onto my body.

Could this be yet another consequence of the infamous whiskey competition that he's going to be stuck with for the rest of his life...?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Oh the humanity...Part 3

It's a two-for-one this time, ladies...

But two wrongs don't make a Taylor. *rimshot*

Circle of Truth

Yes Kellan, you may well look sheepish. Clearly you are very excited to be surrounded by such lovely laydeez...

The Circle of Truth never lies!

Thanks Pau!

Kiowa: I fucking love him but...

...I don't think Rob's Closet will be launching 'Touche Tuesday' any time soon.


Make it stop.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Caption contest...

Get your funny fingers out and type us a hilarious caption to this pic in the comments below.
Go.  Be hilarious.

Shag Me Sunday...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Adventures in DVD Grabbing

So, Breaking Dawn Part 1 finally came out on DVD last night at midnight in America.

Here's what you missed if you didn't (gasp) go out and get your copy...

See? Even guys from Jersey Shore are Twi-hards.

Occasionally, you have to cut a bitch.

Success! Fuck those other people.

The Wal-Mart as Twilight Fans stormed it at midnight. Oops...RIP, Wal-Mart. At least I got my 458,327 copies (with collectible wedding packaging included.)
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