Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Fan Win!



Her sign says what? Sorry...busy staring at how fuckhawt PFach is in this pic...strange...

Monday, January 30, 2012

Meow...




Methinks there's about to be a catfight.

Moan on Monday...


Got these over on Robsessed to start the week off with some Monday BLUES in the porn sense of the word...

Jaw Porn....

Chest porn...
Bicep porn...
Just Plain Rob Porn...

Back Porn...

Finger, Jaw, Bicep, Pyjama Porn... *Dies*


Thanks to Toni xx

Saturday, January 28, 2012

CAPTION CONTEST


Ladies, get your comedy hats on and give us a caption to this great picture from the Peoples choice award.
The winner...with the most likes, well, the winner gets to be hilarious.  That is really all...

Friday, January 27, 2012

Googlewhack!

Proof that there are stranger people out there than Rob-Stalkers...





FUCK ME FRIDAY

  UNF.  UNF UNF YOU FUCKING SCREW.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Is it just me...



Or does Felix look like a totally 'roided out version of Ben Graupner?

Monday, January 23, 2012

This is what would have happened...


If our fearless author had used herself as a basis for Edward instead of Bella.

Let's be thankful it turned out the way it did, shall we?

Nice legs, Kellan


I wonder does he wax?

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Who's Responsible For This??

"Da-da!"


Because water births should never have bubbles. Shameful.

Shag Me Sunday: Crufts Special

Looks like the wolf gals finally got their claws into TayTay... and he's looking all the better for it. Grrr!



via Total Film

My Nana likes Twilight and is going through that 'mad granny' phase...


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Because someone decided Twilight wasn't gay enough...



This full-on episodic gay porn written and directed by Afton Nills is built around the characters of Edmund and his male star-crossed lover Billa. I'm not offended by people with penises mauling other people with penises. But I am concerned that Steph would never approve. These bitches have fangs.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Reason #457683 why I hate The Hunger Games.... nearly finished thank God so I can finally throw the lot in the toilet. But at least she has spawned a new genre - Shit Lit.


Yeah? Well I'm fucking surprised too Katniss you fucking idiot because everyone knows you don't need a tongue to talk so why Pollux doesn't make sound is a fucking mystery but well, he is obviously not only mysterious but seriously fucking talented since you definitely definitely definitely need a fucking tongue to whistle.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Reason #34581 why the Hunger Games annoys me... (and yet I keep reading!)



What, do commas, not matter in this, crazy world of ShitLit?

That's It...




Acknowledge that this is the ultimate Everything Jackson Porn. And bow to the Porn Queen*


*Then realize this image is from "When I was 17" on Mtv. 

....I think I just imprinted....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

You can leave your hat on...



Just make sure that's all you leave on though, Rob.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Monkey Monday: Future Radio



Can't believe it's been only month since I was jumping around like a loon to this at the Academy with J-Rad's glowstick... Flove it!

via vorkje

Circle of Truth


It's OK, Ashley... I'd be on full beam too if I was standing that close to Rob.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Shag Me Sunday: Rathboner Special


One from my personal home movie collection...*

*I wish


Thanks MC!

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself...

In America, our elected officials act as our collective voice. And I'd like to be that for you, ladies (and that one guy who will never admit he comes here).
As RC's newest blogger-elect, I thought it vital to let you know where I stand on the important issues.


Taylor on my (soap) box.


I'm a lifelong student of the supernatural...


Mommy, can I pleeeease be in a Sam-and-Dean-which?!.



I believe the Twiverse is equally dumb and fuckawesome.


Much like this cake.



I'm less Bitchward and more Jaspuss.


Okay, sometimes he's ALMOST hot as fuck but holyshitwaitwhatsthis...

...ooooohhhhhhhhffffuuuuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkaboomgoesthepanties



I sorta hate that She Whore/God Stephenie Meyer for reasons I might never reveal. But she did write the most addicting/mind-muddling/crazier-than-a-Hardwicke 'Son of a Bitch' ever printed. The fucking bitch.

Rob and Twilight author Stephenie M--errr, my mistake....



I am definitely not against Krisbianism, but I like my girls with a little more meat.

This...


Not this. Although...still hot.


But even if my views aren't always totally copacetic, dear Readers,
I hope you'll still trust I'll give you exactly what you need to get those panties a-blastin'.
After all, there are plenty of fails...
goddamn you Etsy!!

WTFs...


Get off Paul Walker, you multi-national retail giant whore.


And Holyshitwhyno's to go keep us all busy...


Baaaaa.


We love you
You be my bitches, I'll be yours.
At least, that how it's supposed to work here in America.


WHY for fuck's sake? WHY?!?!?

Love and exploded panties for all,
Jade xxx

Friday, January 13, 2012

NEW BLOGGER ON ROBS CLOSET!!

So we sent out owls last year hoping that we could have a four man team here at Robs Closet headquarters, giving you more reason to buy shamwows then ever. The response was overwhelming and it has taken us till now to choose our new blogger - the entries were DEADLY! Thanks to all of you.

So here she is. Jade. Our new blogger. A serious contender for the title of SeriouslyDirtyMinded that Bean won last year.... Lets give her a big hand up the jumper on her first day...!

AAE xx



Rob on hearing the news...

That's right bitches. The name is Jade, and I want you to love me.
Now let me win that love by offering you bribes of Underwear Rob...



...and cupcakes.




Here comes the deliciousness.

Looking forward to getting to know you all, you pack of filthy bitches!
Love, Jade xx

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Ba ha ha...


Hair today...

Is it just me, or did anyone else think they may have been transported back to the '70s in their hot tub time machine when watching the People's Choice Awards last night? It totally blew my mind when I saw Eagle-Eyed Action Man going up up to accept an award, with his super-sexy flock hair crewcut... 

Wait-WHAT?!


Meanwhile, Action Man Rob (as predicted) was getting his flirt on with Ultimate Cougar Betty White by treating her to a striptease, clearly much to the shock of the man sitting on the other side of Rob.


Why stop at the jacket, Rob? You need to convince us you have more down there than poor old Action Man...

What do you think of Rob's new 'do? Tell us in the comments section below!

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