Sunday, February 27, 2011

Shag Me Sunday: Rathboner Edition

*vajayjay implosion*

Shag Me Sunday

Adorkable Rob gets me hot and heavy, too. He's so fucking cute, I WANT HIM!

Blame Bean.

TV Fail

Is it just me, or does anyone else have the urge to yell out 'TYRA FAIL!!' and squeal?

Altogether now: "Looooove Tyra!"

Dress up fail.

This is not a Kristen Stewart wig.  This is a Tina Turner wig or a Kiss wig or any other wig you like, but it will not make you look like KStew in the runaways.  No.

I would totally fuck Flynn Rider.

If you've seen Tangled you'll have noticed Flynn Rider, and come on lets just admit it he is hot.  HOT.
Its no co-incedence girls! Disney did a fucking hotness poll with their female employees and darling Flynn here is a combo morph of the following hotties that disneys randy mares drool over daily.
Ashton Kutcher was one, Justin Timberlake was another, but the overall influence was our boy RPATTZ!! No wonder I had to extract my underwear from my womb after the show!! Amazing...


And he still doesn't make it to my CHILF list.

Justin Bieber goes for the mommy vote with a quick up-do.  Eh no...  Its like comparing Rob to a baby bird.  Just not sexy.

"Whaddya mean RIMR dumped me?!"

Kiowa gets a shock when he learns RIMR is just not that into him any more.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Screw Me Saturday

I don't know who made this manip, but I would also like it made with my face on the bottom.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Stick out your tongue and say 'Aaaaaah'

The weekend is so close you can touch it so let's celebrate with a nice bit of tongueporn from the Dirty Doc...

Thanks MC!


Is your Edward manllow looking a bit threadbare? Has your Edward standee gone a bit soggy?

Well, now you can replace them with another 'lifelike' Edward toy - this clay sculpture from Etsy.

Apparently "every detail is precise, down to the buttons and pockets on the coat." Maybe the 'artiste' should have paid more attention to Eddie's face than the bloody peacoat....


I may not have had anything nice to say about this VF pic, but it's pics like these that make me speechless for good reason. UNF!

Happy Friday, bitches!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

We don't see much of Kellan in the movies... he makes up for it.  Blessed are the horny...

If we have published this before then think yourselves lucky.

Aw... I love Rob but this is funny shit.

My lady garden must have exec produced this one...

Scrap the last one but the first four billed is like a list of my christmas must-haves from 2010...


Yes. Yes she fucking does. FAN WIN.

Circle of Truth

Is that a banana in your pocket, Jackson, or are you just pleased to see me?

Via JROnline

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A Plea to Our Readers..

Someone please, PLEASE, come up with something amazing to say about this pic. It's all that I can to not make a Brokeback Mountain joke.


Rob: I fucking love him but...

... what is up with the MTV Members Only jacket??

Check out more pics on how not to dress here.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Is it just me...

... or does the chick who plays Carmen look like Kiowa here??

I take that back. Kiowa looks more feminine. So glad I'm over him!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Monkey Monday: Junkie

Oh Jackson, I am a junkie for your love. Happy Monday, people!

Via RobbedMyHeart

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Now HOW did that happen, Kristen?

Poor Stewy's hurt her wrist - but no one seems to know how she injured it.

I'm sure our dear readers here at Rob's Closet have a few ideas... and they don't involve arm-wrestling Emmet on the BD set... Repetitive strain injury perhaps?

Shag Me Sunday

You know, there's just something about Eclipseward that just drives me nuts... in the good way. I wanna shag him until his sideburns fall off. And then some.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Bill Condon: I fucking love him but...

... what's up with the spider monkey scene in Isle Esme?

Again, when we were hoping for a riding scene, we didn't mean that.

Screw Me Saturday

To whoever made this manip.... thank you.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Rob vs. Michael Aills

In a recent fan encounter (which can be read here), we learned that a fellow named Michael Aills plays Rob's stand in for Breaking Dawn. In this encounter, the fan goes on to say this about Michael: "Omg..he looks alike (sic) like Robert enought (sic) to be his twin!"

I'm sorry... Rob's twin?! You be the judge:


I must be fucking blind because I do not (and will not) see the resemblance.

Fuck Me Friday

This Friday I will spend every second looking at the differences between the two pics. Love me some EW 2010 Outtakes, UNF!!


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Results Are In!

Earlier this week we ran a poll to see what you thought Crapsten would be getting each other for Valentine's Day. Well, the results are in, and I don't think anyone is going to be surprised.

It's a V-Day Fuck-Fest!

Almost half of you were convinced that Rob and Kristen would be showing their love for each other in a more physical sense, rather than wasting money on tacky gifts. Hitchy went one step further and suggested the couple would spice up the sex with whipped cream and chocolate sauce, while Mell61 reckons Stewy will dress up in Dakota's Cherry costume from The Runaways.

Some of you were a little more romantic, hoping that Rob would buy flowers, chocolates or even a ring for Kristen (followed by sex). And spare a thought for the hardcore members of Team Denial rocking in the corner (yes, just_bella and TeamEC, that's you).

Oh, and if anyone wants some good sex tips, you might want to check out some of the other comments on the poll... Better than the Kama Sutra.

Happy Hump Day!

Go on Bella, ride him hard!

(Don't know who made this, but it wasn't me!)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Is it just me...

...Or does the new Jasper Hale doll actually look like Elizabeth Reaser in a fright wig?


Cougar Cathy Strikes Again

Erm. Maybe someone should file a Missing Persons Report on this dude...

Monday, February 14, 2011

Dear Edward....

Pretty please?

Is it just me..

.. or does this pic of Isle Esme look more like a Halloween scene than a Honeymoon scene?

[Source: Twitter]

Valentine Poll!

You know what they say: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. So while we still like to wave our Team Denial flag occasionally here at Rob's Closet (for shits and giggles when we're having a down day), it can be fun to take a peek inside the World of Crapsten and ponder things like, do they argue over whose turn it is to wear the black beanie, or, do they share tips on nervous-hair-tugging techniques?

So as it's V-Day, we thought we'd mark the occasion with another fucktabulous RC Poll...

What are Crapsten getting each other for Valentine's Day?

Will Rob make Stewy a mix-tape of cheesy '80s rock ballads? Will Kristen buy Rob a big teddy bear with 'I Wuv U' written across its tummy? Or will they both dispense with material gifts and just fuck each other's brains out for the day?

Tell us in the comments section below!

Pic via Robsten Love

Monkey Monday

To celebrate V-Day. here's the boys singing 'Who's The One I Love?' I think we all know the answer to that question...

Thanks Little4V via AquaRubyMom!

To all our readers...

Happy Valentine's Day from Rob!!

Here at Rob's Closet we go to great lengths to keep our readers happy, so we understandably went to a LOT of effort this Valentine's Day to get a super-special message from the one and only, Robert Pattinson. So, because we fucking love you all but nothing, here's Rob wishing you all a very happy Valentine's day....

Wait - WHAT?! That's NOT what you were supposed to say Rob!

I think a good hard spanking is in order - who wants the paddle first?

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Shag Me Sunday: For the Krisbians

"Who wants to get down 'n' dirty with me?"

Shag Me Sunday: Klutzinator Special

And your Kellan-as-a-mythical-Greek-god fantasies start... now!

Fan Fail

This is worse child cruelty than naming your baby Renesmememememeee.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Bought your V-Day card yet?

Here's the perfect Valentine for your other half - much more sincere and believable than saying 'I love you'!

Screw Me Saturday

Unfsies. VF outtakes slay me.

Friday, February 11, 2011

DAMON: I fucking love him but...

...Not so much here...

[image source]

Fuck Me Friday

There's something about Rob in a box that I absolutely love. 'Course, I wish he were in my box right now, but this will suffice...

Thanks, Deborah!

Whoops, sorry Taylor...

... but we forgot your birthday today.

Can you blame us? We made a such a big deal out of your 18th birthday last year that we're not batting another eye until your 21.

In case you missed the big hooplah last year...

 click HERE to check out Bean's video of The Final Countdown

click HERE for an RC exclusive of Taylor in his birthday suite

And don't miss out on other Taycob funnies HERE and HERE

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Elizabeth: I fucking love her but...

.. couldn't she have taped her dress down?

I'll take it for a TWANG X-PLOSION Thursday!

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