Friday, December 2, 2011

AMAZEBALLS! Breaking Dawn Review...

So I was putting it off.  I just didn't want to see it.  Then the fact that I would see Rob Pattinson riding the arse off Kristen made me totally cave and agree to see it.  The movie I have dreaded.  The creepy smug ridiculous I-cannot-suspend-my-disbelief-because-this-is-beyond-shite story that is Breaking Dawn.  You know I hate it, you've read enough of my rants about it... but guys, this is the thing...

Twilight aside, because nothing will ever top that movie, but Twilight aside, its my fucking FAVORITE MOVIE.  Yes, hands down it frickin ROCKED.  I fucking LOVED it.  LIKE LOVED IT.

And do you know why?


I fell off my seat laughing, it was such a hoot.  And what made me laugh even harder was the slow dawning realisation that every single person on that cast thought it was fucking hilarious too.  Even the fucking scriptwriting geebag that is MR.
I absolutely LOVED IT.  Every single minute.  It felt like, you know, when your favorite program of all time did a Christmas special? Like that.  With serious comedy moments - Jacobs opinion of Bellas name choices? Hilarious! The wedding speeches? Amazing! The bit with the wolves talking to each other? It was like fucking Thundercats and I loved it!

Oh I'm still swooning, the Bedward shots were awesome - and Bellas flashbacks - HOT AS FUCK.
Me - Steamed up glasses during the hot bits was the least of my worries... Swim rings all round.
Oh and yeah I like them large.  Popcorn boxes. What?
Rob looked DIVINE, though the quiff was still not big enough.  Jacob was seriously swaying me into Switzerland for most of it.  And Jasper for once didn't look like my Auntie Janice.  Rosalie and Alice looked like they should.  Even Mike Newton got my gusset temperatures up.

There were a few things that confused me - Carlisle was a little more portly than I'm used to, the visiting vamps at the wedding looked INSANE with those weird contacts, seeing Stephanie Meyers smug face on the big screen made me puke into my   popcorn and well... the birth scene was seriously horrific and completely OTT with those chomping sound effects - Dislike!

As for the imprinting scene... it was okay.  It kinda worked.... can you believe it?

Overall, it was fucking awesome.  If you haven't seen it, GO!

Me and an anonymous Twi-hard with Edward.
This was taken after the humping when we had to stick his head back on with cellotape...
I just cannot fucking wait for part two... BRING IT ON.
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