Friday, September 30, 2011

Yay! Twilight for Boys!

This is hysterical... They may joke but getting our jollies is also the reason most women I know watch Twilight.  We just get them more subtley, ey?

Thanks Laure xx

I do not remember the white horse in the disney version...

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Twangies on Thursday, apology edition.

Sorry ladies, we are all so busy just these few weeks, so bear with us and we'll be back on track.

We will be back blogging properly soon xxx in the meantime here is a little snack...

P.S. We are always interested in taking on intern bloggers, if you fancy a go - get in touch!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Jackson: I fucking love him but...

...should I be concerned that he's channeling David Brent as his new style icon?

He's just one sovereign ring away from becoming the general manager of the Slough branch of Wernham-Hogg.

Come back Amish Hat - all is forgiven!

via Details magazine

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

This week saw TayTay don a pair of leather chaps and ride the rodeo ( I always thought there was something a little Brokeback Mountain about him...).

It wouldn't be the first time one of our Twi-guys has gone all Wild West - in fact, there seems to be a bit of a running theme here. So throw on a bit of The Jovi, pull on your cowboy boots, and let us introduce you to the hottest bunch of ranch hands since Young Guns... Regulators, MOUNT UP!

Charlie B-Cups hides his cleavage for once
Chunky guy in blue shirt optional
God bless manips... Reverse Cowgirl, anyone?

This picture was the reason it took me so long to see the movie...

I read Twilight just after the movie came out on DVD.  That's right, I was oblivious to the whole shebang before then.  Walking around in dream land, looking at the newspapers, reading other books, watching tv programs and my fridge was stocked with regular food not tomato juice, mushroom ravioli, and apples as it is now.   So I read it and I was obsessed instantly.  I snuck downstairs in the middle of the night and googled him - EDWARD CULLEN.

This was the picture I got.  And I thought Meh...nah... in fact I think I mini-sicked in my mouth a little.
I thought it was the worst example of an 'Edward Cullen' I had ever seen.  AND he is backed up by a gang of trailer trash looking freaks that I had NO interest in getting to know...

It took about a month of my kid and my best friend promising I wouldn't be sorry for me to change my mind.  Boy am I glad I did? Not only do I now have Twilight, but I also have Rob Pattinson in my life.  Life is better this way - I get to spoon with my cardboard Rob and talk to you pack of filthy minded bitches every day for example.

:) Twilight Rocks.  Rob rocks.  You rock.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Fuck Me Friday: Rathboner Special

Whaddya mean he's playing a high school kid here? We won't tell if you don't...

Thursday, September 22, 2011

If music be the food of love...

So Bruno Mars has been revealed as the first artist on the Breaking Dawn soundtrack (click here for an infuriatingly brief Scummit-style teaser-for-the-teaser snippet of the song), which got me to thinking...

Which song should Edward and Bella bump uglies to?

Check after the jump to see our suggestions!

Jasper: I fucking love him but....

...I don't think I would still love him if his name was Ron.

Stephenie Meyer has admitted in a recent interview with Twifans that her original name for Jasper was 'Ron'. WTF?! Steph was clearly on a sugar high when she came up with that one. I'm sorry, but when we're introduced to the Cullen clan we're supposed to jizz on impact - and 'Ron' is just not sexy.

Let me present my evidence...

Ron 'Not as cute as Cedric' Weasley
Ron 'Baldy' Howard
The Two 'We Could Be Your Granddads' Ronnies
L. Ron 'I brainwashed Tom Cruise' Hubbard
Ronald 'Stuff of Nightmares' McDonald
 I rest my case. Ron has never been and never will be a sexy name. Replace the 'n' with another letter though and you might be on to something...

In my Deedeetasy this is the face Rob would pull when I told him I forgot to get his dry cleaning...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Breaking Dawn Part 2 Leaked!

Replace the face?


Thanks MC!


Meet Autumn. Autumn loves nothing more than reading her Tiwlight book and watching her Tiwlight DVD. She's one of the biggest Tiw-hards out there. In fact, Autumn loves Tiwlight so much, that she's even made herself a Tiwlight t-shirt. And - awww! - doesn't she look so proud of it?

We'd hate to see what the losing entries were... 

The internet, how did we communicate before it!

Sometimes fans are their own worst enemy!
But how do you 'though' someone at a wall... one more letter and its telekinesis!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Monkey Monday: Weightlifing Snowman

Surely one of the most random improv songs yet! Look out for the famous Butt Wiggle at 2:00.

Thanks Jaclyn via sweety082

The fans just get stranger and stranger...

Bags I not to go to their screening!
(love their vamp make up the one on the left is very Carlisle in original movie ;-)

Twi-Hard, the trailer

Twilight, the action movie!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Cop a feel

Anything I say can and will be held against me?
Oh cock!

Someone had time on their hands

Is she auditioning for Lara Croft?
Will it be a Resnickers/Croft cross-over: Womb Raider!

My To-Do List.


Circle of Truth: KateStew

This could possibly be my fave Twi-pairing EVER. Dear readers, let me introduce you to KateStew.

The legs! The outfits! The smiles! Have you ever seen Kristen so happy? And they are practically holding hands! It's a match made in fashion heaven. Let's just hope Mossy doesn't pass on any bad habits to our KStew...

Via KStweartfans

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Room Service

Nice work!

Kellan Lust...

D'ya think he'd help me 'move' some furniture in my bedroom?

Friday, September 16, 2011

Is it getting hot in here?

I'm suddenly feeling the need to have a shower...

Which one of you is bidding?

Surprisingly enough all the bids to date have been declined... I wonder how much they were offering short of the $21mil!
I must say, I like a person who values their work!

If any of you have $21,000,000 going spare, would you please use it to throw us a BD1 / RC boozed up preview screening in Las Vegas?

When Edward met Buffy

I will admit that I was a Buffy Girl long before SM had her Twinky induced dream, so this tickled my funny bone!

PS: I'm not that happy with the ending!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I've finally tracked down the Twilight Wigs dept!

I knew there had to be a reason for the ongoing wig issue... as we see with the latest victim.
And after some in-depth investigation, I've found the culprit...

Ladies, and those who normally visit here, I give you the Twilight Sage wig dept!

Investigations continue to locate the Catering dept, and find out who put the 'fat' into Peter Fatinelli!

New Breaking Dawn Poster

I think we found out how the headboard got broken, Bellas head got slammed against it so much she broke the headboard and did some damage to her vertebra!
I'll have to re-read BD (reaches for the Vodka), to find out how her hands grow so large!

Sorry! I posted the short trailer.... here is the long one xxx

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Ok, this scares me!
Who knew I'd grow so attached to his eye-brows!

KStew does no brows pretty well!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Monday moans, Tuesday Twangies, Wednesday Wank... a whole weeks worth!

And two for Sunday!

Rob Vs Colin Farrell

Hold on to your Shamanties, girls - there's a another hot vamp on the block. Colin 'Feckin' Farrell is getting his fangs out in the new remake of Fright Night. I gotta admit, I haven't seen it myself - after spending a week sleeping with the lights on after watching the original at an inappropriately young age ("comedy", my arse). But I don't need to have seen the movie to know that a man who likes to eat ladygarden burgers for "breakfast, lunch and fuckin' dinner" will give Rob a good run for his money. So let the battle commence!

Round 1: Smokin' Hot
Colin, take note: smoking cigarettes can be sexy - rolling up your sleeve to shoot up is not. Round 1 to Rob!

Round 2: Lounge Lovelies
Mmmm.... both very inviting. I call this round a tie.

Round 3: Simply the Vest
Both of these guys can work a wife beater - and that's no mean feat. But Rob's armpit hair porn just gives him the edge. Round 3 to Rob!

Round 4: Battle of the Zygotes
I literally have no words. Yikes.

And the winner is...


Who'd have thunk it, eh?

Monkey Monday

It's back with a vengeance... and with an amazeballs version of Junkie, Ben G playing the kazoo, and a cameo appearance by a rather cute photographer. Your Monday just got a teensy bit better.

via vorkje

Princess Bella

This made me laugh.

Monday moaning...

Lets do another Tattward, you can never have enough semi-naked skin on show!

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