There's many a dream job to be had in the Twiverse - the wolf pack's eight-pack painter, The Rathboner's personal undresser, or the fluffer for when Rob makes his sex tape with AAE. Well, now there's another job to add to that wish list - K-Stew's bodyguard.
Here's a brief job description:
*Candidates must be willing to travel to a number of glamorous locations, including LA, Brazil, London, Japan, and, er, the Isle of Wight.
*Candidates must understand the definition of the word "Krisbian" and be prepared to take swift action to protect the employer from the militant and/or over-amorous ones of the species. They can be identified by their strange markings, knotted t-shirt and mullet haircuts.
*Candidates must also keep the employer safe from rabid Twi-tards who have been known to attack cast members of the Twilight Saga movies. These threats can be easily spotted by their frizzy hair and the slightly deranged look on their face.
*Candidates will have the additional job of screening calls for the employer. If either of these two people ring, tell them the employer is busy not washing her hair.
*Finally, candidates must be fully capable of protecting The Goods AT ALL COSTS. See example below...
Thanks C_D_G via kstewartnews