Monday, January 31, 2011

Monkey Monday: Slow Down

'Cos I'm in a Jackson-in-a-dress kinda mood...

Ashley: I fucking love her but...

... she isn't fooling anyone with this 'Good Girl/Teen Vogue' image.

After all, we can't pretend like we've never seen these:

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Shag Me Sunday

Deviating from the booty theme of this weekend and bringing it back to the face that always gets me..

Shag Me Sunday: Rathboner Edition

Bring on the grass stains.

via Zooey magazine

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Screw Me Saturday.... Literally

This is dedicated to everyone who refused to choose between Rob and Damon (and for RIMR who's in an ass mood this weekend). Dear readers, let me present to you... a random Ian Somerhalder sex scene.

WARNING: Too hot for work viewing!

Now we just need some of this in The Vampire Diaries...

Thanks to CF for hooking us up with this shit!

Screw Me Saturday

I am in SUCH an ass mood this weekend...

Mike: I fucking love him but...

.. no one is going to be surprised if you look 40 lbs. overweight in Breaking Dawn.

We saw you in New Moon.. we know what you're capable of. TRUST!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rob Vs Damon

What better way to celebrate the return of The Vampire Diaries tonight?

Ooh, I'm seeing double... and I like it!


Oh what I would do...

Check the jaw porn on this bad bone....  Bean? Should I get the defibrillator?

Thanks Lynne

If he was my daddy....

...I'd wanna be from Alabama.

Twilight Dad's vs. The 'Stache

Which TwiDad has the 'stache that you'd want to take a ride on the most?

It's an unfair advantage for Billy, and a huge disadvantage for Rob.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

WANK ME WEDNESDAY - Birthday Special!

How fuckhawt is this manip? 

So we never ever do this but this weeks wankerific picture goes out with a special birthday message for our own KK who likes to peruse through our pics daily here at Robs Closet.  KK This ones for you... We were persuaded by your darling sister Yoni (she paid us a LOT of money) to give you a shout out! She has a special message for you too -

"Happy 19th Birthday KK, 
I love you more than Jacob loves Nessie and THAT says a lot!
Now, I know I’m not filthy rich like the Cullens,
but if this is about my money, take it! I don’t want it without you! 
Anyways, I sent you a big fat check so you can buy yourself some school lunch
or if you’re on a “special diet” then go fetch yourself a space heater,it’s awfully cold these days. 
Better yet, since you’re not immortal and all, you should consider saving it for your future Botox shots BEEOTCH! 
your big sister,
a.k.a "Unicorn Lovin Yoni"

See more manips like this one at Robnipulations!

Like Father, Like Son

Looks like Rob isn't the only one with a dodgy past as an underwear model...

Zygote Daddy C, meet Zygote Rob.



I never was a huge Kellan fan.  Still not.  Its shit like this that just keeps him on the "should be hot but really is not" file.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Is it just me..

.. or am I the only one who can't wrap my mind around this completely fucked up situation.


"If we're really quiet, she won't notice us. Please God."

Monday, January 24, 2011

Erm... Is this some kind of joke?

Just when you think you couldn't find anything more craptastic on Etsy, another piece of random shit appears. Yes people, this "celebrity portrait" of Kristen Stewart (I think) can be yours for just 10 dollars. Bargain.

Not sure why you would want to add this to your growing collection of Twi-crap? Well, in the words of the "artiste", it's "great for any occasion, including, but not limited to: weddings, National Hug Day, restaurant menus, nurseries (both plant and human), studies, dens, libraries and dorm rooms." Wow, so versatile!

Thanks to BohemianBotanicals for this special find!

Rob Pattinson as Jeff Buckley. Oh my fuck I'm a dead woman.

Just read an article saying Rob is to play Buckly in an upcoming biopic.  He fucking better... Two sexpots combined...? It. Will. Be. Amazing.

Can't you see it?  Rob would fucking ROCK this role...

Munch me Monday


Yeah? YEAH? You wouldn't be sitting there for long if you looked at me like that you fucking ride.  You'd need to have my thighs surgically removed from your FACE you big dreamboat.  My God Rob...

Monkey Monday

I didn't know 100 Monkeys had a cameo in Rob's new movie! ;)

Sunday, January 23, 2011


So, what you're saying is I need to move to New York or Pennsylvania?


This actually happens in Breaking Dawn...

This Actually Happens in Twilight: Breaking Dawn - watch more funny videos

Ah ha ha its funny cos its true... Oh fuck its gonna be on screen soon *hides Twilight books, merchandise, dvds, blu rays, standees...

Sans yellow head and talcum powder....

PFach is HAWWWWTTTT.  I'd totally fuck him to ribbons.

Shag Me Sunday

The jawporn slays me. Be still, my heart.

Is it just me...?

...or has Elizabeth Reaser finally figured out a way to disguise her fivehead...?
All she had to do was steal Bella's hat from the Eclipse tent scene from the Scumshit wardrobe department. Simples!

Now you see it...
Now you don't!

Pure fucking genius.

Dear Stephanie...

Breaking Dawn? E.R. meets Teen Moms meets What-the-fuck-am-I-watching-somebody-turn-over...


Thanks to Gracie and Agnes for sending this in xx

Laughed my FUCKING ass off. No abbreviations needed.

Funniest thing I've seen this year.

Thanks JoUk

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Friday, January 21, 2011

Twilight Saga: I fucking love you but...

... it's going to take a little bit more than an official title treatment / logo to get my panties in a twist.


Tongueporn a la new Water for Elephants still, can I get a 'HELL YES'?!


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Ah haaaa.

I want to be a rich bitch.

If you are in Ireland please vote for me, AAE, on the Actimel competition!! I could do with the money and if I win I am going to buy RIMR a ticket to Ireland so we can have our first Robs Closet Boardroom meeting.  Suits and heels and everything! It'll be hot.  Bean neeeeeeeeeeeds it...

So to go and vote (if you're in Ireland that is...)

You'll make me very happy...

My dog started humping my kid. I thought of Breaking Dawn...

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? The children of the world if they know whats good for them...

Hey! Renesedbelmee! No yanking on his pants till you're 18!

What? No cigarette?

This picture is so fucked up I cannot even joke about it.  
Michael Jackson was fucking supernanny compared to this shit.  

If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise.
Poor child - Look at the fucking boner on that wolf...

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