Sunday, October 31, 2010

Shag Me Sunday: For the Twi-curious

Here at RC Towers, we like to think of ourselves as an equal opportunities blog. But apparently we've been neglecting a valued segment of our readership: the Ashbians (I think we need a better name - any thoughts?). So here you go... Enjoy.

In the words of RC reader Kapow, 'She may have craptacular taste in men, but she's smokin' hot.' I couldn't agree more!

Monkey Monday on Sunday

We're bringing #MonkeyMonday forward a day, just so we can post this hilarious Halloween Rap video by hellyeah100monkeys...

Crap-o-lanterns

Put the carving knives down, people! Halloween is scary enough without your terrifying Twi-pumpkins.

OK, I gotta admit Major Whitlock is not a Major Fail here... but they get worse...

You can tell by the look on Edward's face here that he's thinking, 'Ugh, Bella, your dreadlocks smell gross!'

In this Jack-o-lantern, the Cowardly Lion makes a reapperance - this time joined by Bella, who apparently has a harelip... or just a snotty nose.

This lazy git couldn't even be bothered to try and carve their pumpkin - so they just painted it and stuck a plastic wolf on top...

...but at least it makes more sense than this pumpkin, where Edward is represented by a... sparkly Christmas decoration?! Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.


Thanks to Tamara, Scotlander1, WildEyedBeast & Masdsaf!

Happy Halloween!

The Rathboner: Making scary sexy.




Except maybe here... *hides behind couch*

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Costume Fail!

Still looking for that last minute Halloween costume? Want to pay homage to your favourite movie AND look like a complete tool? Never fear - Rob's Closet is here!

How about an authentic Edward wig? The bouffant is so convincing, you'll have K-Stew running her hands through your hair before you can say 'Crapsten'!

Want to show your darker side? This may look like a tie-dyed dust sheet, but it's actually a movie quality Volturi cloak - a must for every bad girl!


Not a vamp girl? Then you need this realistic Jacob Black costume! After complaints that the New Moon wolf costumes were too cute and fluffy, we've given this year's mask a bit more bite. Grrrrrr! Watch out Renesmee!


Get confused between Twilight and real life? Then this Robward outfit is for you! It combines Edward's infamous pea coat with Rob's plaid shirt and shades. The best of both worlds!

Or are you a fame-hungry attention whore? In that case, we have the perfect costume for you this Halloween - a pair of Kimbra hands complete with apple! Just be sure to carry a pen with you - everyone will be hounding you for your autograph!


None of these costumes float your boat? Then how about dressing up as everyone's favourite cougar, Catherine Hardwicke?!

Kristen reads Robs Closet - PROOF!

She knows what a Krisbian is.... Nuff said.


CHECK IT OUT HERE

Thanks Pau1613

Speaking of Jacobs shedded hair...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ABOUT?

This is fucking bonkers.  Its actually named 'Hairy Jacob Black' AND they are looking for a grand for it.  A grand.  Really people... GO TO ART COLLEGE!

Any of you who want to have the artist email you with pictures of the really fine details.... Click on through.

Thanks Mel61 

I see she's putting Jake's shedded hair to good use...


Available in Alpha Russett, Alpha Black, and Angry Grey.

Screw Me Saturday

Tongueporn alert...


[Thanks, MC!]

Friday, October 29, 2010

FAN FAIL

Kristen Stewart's Face + Elizabeth Reaser's forehead = THIS:


[Thanks, missychrissy020!]

Fuck Me Friday

Funny how those guys from the Buried Life tried to get a lock of Pattinson's hair..


... and I just want to get a lock on Pattinson. 


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Halloween Fail!

It's that time of year again... all over the world people are spending hours and hours carving a pumpkin into the shape of Edward Cullen - only for it to look totally shit.

This Edward appears to have no eyes - which is probably a good thing, as he won't be able to see how crap he looks.


For a moment I thought this was either the Cowardly Lion or Vincent from Beauty and the Beast.... but apparently it's supposed to be Edward.


This next one, I gotta admit, I puffy heart big time! But although I love the fact that someone went to the effort of making a Charlie Swan pumpkin, is it just me, or does it kinda look like Frankenstein...?


Found any Hallowen fan fails? Email them to us at mailbag.robscloset@gmail.com!

QUESTION: Can Vampires Have Beards??

Because the soon-to-be Garrett looks so much sexier with a little scruff...



[Image Source: Zimbio via BDM.org]

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Happy Hump Day!!

I keep telling myself that, if I stare hard and long enough, his sparkle stick will just jump out at me.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

For those who are a little less committed...

... I give you 'Edward Restaurant Scene Temporary Tattoos'


 Impermanently yours for $1.70 at, you guessed it, Etsy.com

[Thanks, Katie B.!]

Team Roblor: FAN WIN!!

Roblor fans, lookie what I just got in the mail!!


Can't fucking wait!


[Thanks, Midnight Cougar. Rawr!]

Monday, October 25, 2010

Monkey Monday

With Halloween fast approaching, it's time for things to get a little creepy around RC Towers - so here's Ben G being a complete psycho from the movie Trapped in 5150. I'll never be able to listen to Keep Awake in the same light again...


Thanks to Comikfan & Little4V!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Shag Me Sunday

For our Wolf Girls..


I'm digging the V-neck and the post coital glow in the pic. 


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

Fuck Me Friday... Again

Say what you want about our girl, but her legs go for miles and miles....


... and I can't help the dirty thoughts.

Fuck Me Friday

Whether you hate or love these pics, there's no denying we get to see the full dexterity of Rob's digits.


I have a fingerporn fixation, clearly.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Happy Birthday!!

BDM.org reminds us all that today is Cathy the Cougar's 55th Birthday.


Let's hear it for the crazy old bat who...:


Ladies, the list goes on and on HERE...

Of all the shit she's pulled, we can genuinely thank her for the remarkable casting choices she's made.

BUT THAT'S IT!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dear Clausward...

Dear Clausward,

For Christmas this year, you would make all my dreams come true if I could have an EDWARD CULLEN LIFESIZE PUPPET (pictured):

I know it's only October but I figured these would sell out pretty quickly and I don't want you to have to go all Jingle All The Way on me. I promise I've been a good girl all year...

Thanks, Bean xx

No, Chon, NO!

Chon recently tweeted, "you wanna see how big my dick is...check this out..HAHAHAHA" with the following video attached:


Pretty sure we already discovered HERE that your dick is not 'so big', so who is this song really about?



KStew: I fucking love her but...

...her boobs look a bit wonky here...


Has Rob been playing with them too much? And Krisbians, before you complain that I'm being mean - I've just given you an excuse to stare at Stewy's usually-perfect breasts! ;)

Monday, October 18, 2010

More Monkey Monday: A Birthday Treat

It may no longer be our birthday, but we couldn't resist indulging ourselves a little bit more with some MonkeyPorn (and not in a bestiality kind of way... although there is a dog involved...). So, for your viewing pleasure and ours, feast your eyes on Mr Jerad Anderson sans shirt from TV show 'Greek'. *Joygasm*


And there's more... because you can't get too much of a good thing....



UPDATE: We have video!!



[image source]

A Letter from Austria!

Dear Rob's Closet,

Allow us to present our humble Austrian birthday present:

This was the poster of the musical "Dance of the Vampires" in 1997:



SOMETHING must have happened between the premiere and the re-launch in 2010, because THIS is the centerpiece of the current show's promotion!



WTF?! Notice anything familiar? We did, too!

Cheers, StitchMeUpCarlisle



Monkey Monday: Hangover Special


Well, dear readers, I'm sure there's a few sore heads out there today after yesterday's awesome birthday bash - so let's keep this week's Monkey Monday nice and mellow with LDF.

Oh boys, you sure are a sight for sore eyes...



Pic via JR Online

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Birthday Cake Fails!

A Rob's Closet birthday party wouldn't be complete without some Twilight-themed cakes - but maybe not these....

'Twilight' - a novel by Stephenie who?!

I've heard of the Golden Onion, but the Golden Butt...?!

Since when was Zac Efron in Twilight?


OK, technically this is not a cake, but it is labelled as 'Twilight Party Food'. WTF?!
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