Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Lord of the Ring

I know you inquiring minds were just dying to know if Mr. Jonas was concealing his 'promise ring' in this pic. After further analysis, the results are in! Virgin ring is GONE, baby!

Yeah... I'd give it up for this, too.


Coming Soon...

...And by "soon" we mean tomorrow - it's the return of the Rob's Closet Advent Calendar!

Join us in counting down to our annual visit from Clausward. He's gonna find out who's naughty and nice... and he only likes the naughty girls!

Fan Fail!

And here we were thinking Twilight fans were bad artists....

Just in case you don't watch Vampire Diaries and think the above picture could be a perfectly good likeness of "Damon", feast your eyes on the shirtless hottie below. That's "Damon".

Is it just me or is anyone else getting serious TVD withdrawal symptoms?

*licks computer screen*

Ashley Greene Takes Pup on a Walk...

... and her little dog, Marlo, joins.


Yeah...Eh no.

I have asked the following question a lot.  Which of em would you wanna fuck? I'm usually asking it to people who I find out have seen Twilight more than once.

The usual answer is of course "Edward. Edward...Uh uhhhhh.... Jesus Edward" followed by orgasm noises, exploding underwear and usually a quick hump of my leg.

Then of course you've got the howlers. They say nothing but turn their noses up and howl like a bitch in heat.  Which of course they are.  For Jacob.

Then we get the cooler more reserved "Uhh that Jasper guy.... he is hot" and a short but full blush accompanied by a quick leg cross.

The "Emmet yeh Emmet" response is rarer but pretty full on.  I've noted a shudder ripple through the bodies of the responder and a quick 'blink and you've missed it' crotch rub.

The realistic ladies of my generation usually answer "The police man I suppose" but are later found shoving that Vanity Fair issue down their pants.  

I find the more caring and Esme like women of my acquaintence like to admit a little "Carliiiisssslllleee" fetish and usually use 'Face in Hole' a-LOT.

But you know what? I've even had one responder answer "Mike Newton actually' which was unexpected but reluctantly accepted.  She got a slapped face and a kick in the crotch for her trouble but we're still friends. 

However... I have never ever ever heard the words "Eric" come out of anyones mouth in response to that question... No.  Never.  Not once.

And this is why...

Justin Chon on Twitter:

im always tweeting when im taking a shit. so everytime yall see a tweet from me its from the toilet

What? The? FUCK?  This is beyond adorkable or even remotely intriguing.

This guy has gone from a zero following to a minus zero I reckon with that tweet.  Is there any Team Erics out there? Anywhere? Anyone that can explain to me WHAT it is about that guy that anyone in their right mind would find attractive? Is it the weird photo shoots?? The weird sense of style? What is it?

Let us know Below....!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Oh I laughed...

I saw this profile picture earlier when making friends on the Robs Closet facebook page.  It belongs to a facebooker called Nikki Cullen.  She hasn't made friends with us yet but when she does I am totally poking her.

Fucking hilarious.

Wotshisface buys Ashley a present.

Obviously it wasn't something that would remind her of him while he is away...!

Thanks to Mell61!

Monkey Monday - Kolpix

"Once again we come together like buttcheeks." ~ Uncle Larry

Just in case you haven't seen the awesome new video for Kolpix yet, here it is...

"Was it good for you?"

Sunday, November 28, 2010

What I would like to know is...

Who are the couple on the bottom left? Has she a cigarette butt in her mouth? Whats going on in this fucking picture?

A little something something...

Sometimes I like to shake my cougar fantasies and have a look at a guy who actually would probably take me out and not be feeling like he had done his 'help the elderly' deed for the year.

"Oooo Chief Swan... put down your guitar and come play me....Ooooo"

What a FORKING ride.

Stewy Sex Face!

Is that Rob's hand?!

Shag Me Sunday

Can't forget about our wolf girls!

The facial hair is borderline creepy-looking, but not enough to deter me from the sexiness of scruff.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Win Rob for a Day. No fucking Joke.

I'm too lazy and full of cottage pie to think of a witty line to write about this subject.  I am, however, very excited not only to learn that I may actually win this slick fuck for a whole day (thats 24 fucking hours) even if I am too full of food to hump my computer.

So just go and read all about it HERE

Screw Me Saturday

Return of Robward. I fucking love him but NOTHING!

Friday, November 26, 2010

CSI Rob's Closet

Fuck Me Friday

Ok, so I know I wasn't too fond of the Horatio Caine picture previously posted, but this other outtake completely makes up for it.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

And so Twitards around the world simultaneously orgasm*...

...as Bill Condon tweets this picture.

Oi Condon! It's Thanksgiving, for fuck's sake. We'd be more thankful if you Tweeted a pic of Rob in the honeymoon bed, preferably wearing nothing but a few strategically placed feathers.

*except those who are allergic to feathers.

Poll Time!

It's been too long since we had a good Rob's Closet poll - so here's something to ponder while you're 'stuffing your turkey' this Thanksgiving...

Who is the kinkiest Twi-guy?

Is Kellan into cuffs? Is Rob a fan of roasting? Is Jackson just pure filth in the bedroom?

Tell us in the comments section below!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Be sure not to eat too much this Turkey day...

 ... or you'll end up feeling like this:

Gah, I sure am thankful for this beautiful man!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Edward? No not Edward....?

You would not believe the actors people had pegged for Edward Cullen.  I do a lot of googling and reading to do with Twilight in order to supply you guys with an endless stream of laughs and knicker explosions.  I come across, from time to time, pre-movie blogs and forums and you would not BELIEVE the people that people wanted cast.  I mean we can all agree that Rachel Lee Cook was born to be Alice and frankly I still don't know why she wasn't considered... but Ashley is Alice now. The cast are the cast.

Lets have a look over the next few weeks to what could have been...

I shit you not. This is Gaspard Ulliel, a french actor who doesn't really speak English.  There were whole websites dedicated to lobbying him as first choice for the sexy vamp.

Really? This guy...?

I do not remember the bit in BD where Bella gets punched in the face.

OR maybe she is just "cracking up" at the thoughts of Jacob kiddyfiddling her daughter. Ha...ha... Hmph.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Rob vs David...

I was enjoying the new Connect ad the other evening when I realised we haven't had one of these in a while... So lets have a little bit of Beckham to hold up against our boy...


The Vanity Fair Shot

The "On the Field" shot... Hmmm, Rob I do like a boy who can bend it - Sorry!

The thinking shot

The concert shot - One of the worlds sexiest men with some weird greasy haired friend... and David Beckham at a concert. 

The "Come here to me" Shot.  *Major Twangies*

David with something knocking around in his pants and Rob as an amputee. (Yeh I coulda gone with a BD pic but then I wouldn't be making you laugh as hard as you are right now, would I?)

Who wins? You decide...

Rob realises there is more than just his clothes in Robs Closet....


Say what you will...

... but I think they are fucking adorable. Team Crapshley, FTW!

[Source: Zimbio via BDM.org]

Monday, November 22, 2010

Jumping Rob FTW!!

Just in case you haven't yet discovered the online phenomenon that is Jumping Rob, let us share with you a few of our favourites....

Cedric - totally unaware of his impending death - is delighted he got accepted to Hogwarts.

Rob finally confesses his love for Kristen on Oprah...

White Men Can Jump

Jumping Rob has a sexy party with Stewie (no, not that Stewy...)

And last but certainly not least....

Jumping Rob joins the madness of Antione Dodson ("Hide your kids!"), Strutting Leo, Chubby Bubbles Girl and, er, Keanu Reeves? It's so fucking random - and we LOVE it!

Check out Fuck Yeah Jumping Rob for more hilarity! Manips by creationjules & fabo. Thanks to my DC girls for the laughs!

Monkey Monday: Shy Water

"You can stick to your guns if you please..."

I'll stick to your guns please, Ben G, if it's all the same.

via jaimemosher

Rob: I fucking love him but...

... not so much in this picture.

Can't be perfect ALL the time, or is it just me?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Shag Me Sunday

Today's Shag Me Sunday is brought you by the letter 'V'.

When was 'Coyote' in Twilight?

Bella does a good 'Road runner' too doesn't she?

Thanks to Carson for this nightmare.

Friday, November 19, 2010

The person that drew this? What a c*nt.

What the fuck is the story with people wanting Rob to be a... fairy? Angel? Sorry but I'm Catholic and angels are hard ass giants that throw each other off the edge of the universe and stuff.  Also they are in the dictionary as "Asexual".  Also they live in heaven and rarely interact with humans.  WHAT THE FUCK IS SEXY ABOUT THAT?? Not to harbour on the "asexual" bit but.... ASEXUAL? Girls? Is this what we are into now? 

I can think of nothing else I'd want Rob Pattinson to be other than a hot blooded man with a big ole penis.  Preferably one he used on me from time to time... but you can't have it all.

FMF... This ones for you MC x

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