Thursday, August 5, 2010

Rob, I fucking love him but...not as himself...yeah...um...no....!

I know I am most likely alone when I say this but I just don't... just can't... fancy Rob Pattinson.

'S true.  I'm not trying to confuse anyone, I know a lot of you witnessed my mad screen humping which resulted in a broken macbook back when the vanity fair pictures were released.  So I want to explain.

I fucking loooooooove all the... shall we say... personas...that Rob portrays, during his movies or photoshoots.  Firstly I FUCKLOVE Edward Cullen.  Like Rip-my-knickers-off-and-shag-me-wildly love. Edward Cullen... Oh fuck more Edward please.  I have the cut-outs, the posters, the postcards (handy for slipping into the handbag in case you need a quick rob fix) and so many photos stored to my hard drive that my computer crashed...

Then you've got yer man in Remember me.  I fancy him rotten too, cos its not a real world and I can watch him and wish I was Emile and just ride him with my eyes.

And in all the photostories that have popped onto my screen over the last year.... Jesus that boys face... Oh shit he is just so fucking sexy I cannot TAKE IT!!!

This....

This....

This....

And then... I turn on the tv and its Rob Pattinson getting interviewed... and I scream Nooooooo! TURN IT OFFFFFF!!! TURN IT OFFFF!!!

He just doesn't do it for me.  Not playing himself anyway.  Is that weird for you all? Don't get me wrong now, if I could I'd lock that man in my room for a year and never leave the house. But the whole time I'd be demanding the Edward face...and voice... The bumbling, silly, giggly, practical teenager that is Rob Pattinson just makes me feel.... well... a bit cringey...

I do not fancy this!

"Edward face now or go away from me"

Aren't you all lucky? Thats one less Tryhard chasing your man!!
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