Friday, April 30, 2010

Rob Vs... Prince Eric

Our Rob has already gone head to head with Aladdin and Prince Edward - and won, of course - but how will he fare against the hottest Disney prince (IMO)... Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid (not to be confused with Ashley Greene)?

*ding ding*
Round 1: The White Shirt Shot
Sorry Prince E - nobody works a white shirt like Rob. Round 1 to Rob!

Round 2: The Uniform Shot
Eric cuts a dashing figure in his uniform, and while I'm slightly creeped out that the Rob shot is from weird movie The Haunted Airman, he still wins Round 2!

Round 3: The Doll
Edward doll may have a pea coat... but Prince Eric's doll has a sparkly red thong and cowboy boots! Round 3 to Eric!

Round 4: The Shirtless Shot

C'mon, don't tell me you didn't realise this post was just another excuse to slip in another Disney Prince underwear pic! ;) I'm lovin' Eric's tattoo... but shirtless Rob in sepia? UNF!

So, of course, Rob wins once again!

Like this? You'll love this!

NEW : Edward and Bella Still

*Team No Vid Spoilers*


Yeeeaaahhhhhhh, what a let down, right? That's about how I felt when @mtvnews tweeted that there'd be 'new Eclipse stills'. Sheesh, we saw that shit months ago..

Click here for the supposedly 'new' pics.

Fuck Me Friday: Rathboner Special

It's Friday. Anyone fancy a nice glass of wine? It's OK Jackson, you don't have to pass me the glass - I'll drink it from where it is....

Fuck Me Friday

I fucking love manips.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Googlewhack! "Twilight is..."

I don't understand #5.....

Breaking Dawn Release Date

So, the latest rumor going around with Breaking Dawn is that the movie will not be ready until 2013. Read questionably legit article here.

Almost three whole years?! You've got to be kidding me! Summit still plans to keep the original cast, and we've found pictures that will depict exactly how the actors who play the Cullens and the Wolf Pack will look by then:

The Cullens

... and the wolf pack

Gosh, they age well!!

Is it just me...

... or am I the only one confused as to why people think Eclipse is going to be a zombie movie?

No idea where anyone would get such an idea.

That's like when someone thought New Moon was actually about the moon becoming new (click here for a refresher).

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Vampire Pick 'n' Mix

Variety is the spice of life - and here at Rob's Closet we like to celebrate diversity. So it's time for a little vampire pick 'n' mix. Here's how it works...

You get to pick THREE vamps for an awesome foursome (three-ways are sooooo 2009). You can pick ONE Cullen (yes, only one - don't sulk) and TWO from this little smorgasbord of bloodsuckers...

*cue music*
(seriously play the music - it makes it so much more fun)
Damon or Stefan Salvatore

Bill Compton or Eric Northman

Angel or Spike (remember them?)

Louis or Lestat (the originals)

So who do you want for your awesome foursome? Tell us in the comments section below!

Thanks to Sparks for inspiring this post! Cullen boys fan win via Moumou38

Caption Contest: WINNER!

You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you? Well, yeah... I had. But better late than never, eh?
And the winner of the latest RC caption contest - who wins the honour of being really fucking funny - is....

*drum roll*


"I'm telling you guys, when you're doing the cat's cradle, you gotta put these middle fingers 'under' the yarn, otherwise it doesn't make the bridge and then you've fucked everything up..."

Second place goes to LTM with this little gem: "So I was just cupping her two ass cheeks like this... about to make my move..."

Check out all the rest of the hilarious entries here!


Ok, so I thought the Bella Birthday Cake really took the icing as part of the best cakes we've ever seen, but I do believe we've found one that tops even that one!

Kellan's brother, @brandonjlutz tweeted this pic of his brother's birthday cake. While it's not exactly anatomically correct, I'd still want a piece!

For more crotch shots, be sure to click here!

Don't forget to follow us on twitter at @Robs_Closet!


Okay so I am biased.  I have, Ladies and Ladies... met this man.  THIS man... THIS beautiful man was Stephanie Meyers choice for Edward Cullen.  Henry Cavill, suh-weet lamb of merciful Jesus, he is yumscrumptious.

Rob vs Henry... this may have to be looked at properly in its own post.... could we? Wouldn't it possibly create knicker explosions of such massive proportions that we may destroy the WORLD?? Stand by to find out BITCHES!!!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Just because....

...this is too fucking funny.

And for all you Trubies out there can you spot which vamp is partying with his orange-mocha-frappucino in the original Zoolander clip?

Thanks Speezydee for making me pee my pants a little!

Digital Get Down -- The Prequel

And this is why they had to revert to phone sex.

Be sure to click here if you missed the Digital Get Down.

[Source: ohmy_feathers via Twilight Funnies]

Googlewhack! "Jasper Hale is..."

Well, who'd have thought it?! It's the only result, which means it must be true. Does Alice know about this?
Now we know who Britney was really singing about!

*vajajay implosion*


As if we needed any more evidence as to how Kellan's beaver basher looked.. he comes out in this picture clearly not wearing any undies. And why should he? If you got it, flaunt it.

See it, S-E-E I-T?!

Don't worry ladies, you don't have to squint your eyes on this website.

Oh HIIIII kelmet's helmet!!! We've missed you.

Thanks to Sweets817
 for this not-so-little treasure!

Bella and Edward in a nutshell!

We love this deviantart by Candypalmer! She sums it up for all of us... not only for our dear Bella!

Twilight... the boy on boy version!

I love Twilight so you can imagine my delight when coming across another production of the story by an independant movie company!! I ordered it right away. Its an all male cast which sounds good to me!! Can't wait to see their version of Breaking Dawn!!!!

(via gaypornblog - thanks!)

Rob vs Rob(not)

There he is... Our Rob looking so delicious I swear my ladygarden just whistled.

But wait! Who is that? Rob? Is that...Rob? Nope it is not but, boy, is it the next best thing.  
This guy (Luke Grimes) is considered a Rob Pattinson lookalike, even though he is a model in his own right.  Gee whizz you mean there is a caffeine free version of our beloved boy!?!


I love him almost as much as I love laughing at him...



B.R. - Before Rob....

So, who is this cheeky chappy you may ask?

Well, this is Gaspard Ulliel.  Who? Gaspard Ulliel.  Apparently Gaspard was fans number one choice for Edward Cullen in the days before Rob. There are whole forums dedicated to Gaspard vs Rob, all of course preceding the Twilight movie release and based on the dodgy pics that were released by Summit of our fuckhot lovegod.

Still though... This guy? Edward Cullen? Really?

Next time we'll be looking at some other actors that fans considered right for the role.

Let us know if there was a particular 'Edward' that you had in mind before that cafeteria door swung open changing your life forever!!


Well.... (Trumpet flare) I, Allaboutedward, being of sound mind and body, have finished my last ever never to be seen again FANFIC!!! TA DAAAAAAH!!!!

Its not like me to blow my own trumpet...(another trumpet flare) but I am exceedingly proud of mineself and wanted to share the news...

Lots of you read it, I know that from all my lovely reviews, and some of you may still be stuck on that lemon in chapter 8, and I'd like to take this moment and use this lovely forum to say THANK YOU!!

You readers rock.... ROCK!

For any of you who haven't read it... DO!!

Monday, April 26, 2010


WOMAN!! Edward Cullen is trying to escape out of the back of your sweater!!
Crikey, we've seen some pretty bad Twi-tatts in our time, and then some, but this one is really special.
Click here to erase this from your retinas.
Thanks (I think) to Hollywood2Brooklyn for inflicting this on us!

KELLAN: I fucking love you but....

...aren't you a bit old for a teddy bear?

I hope dating McWhore hasn't turned you soft. Maybe you should go hang out with your old Generation Kill friends and MAN UP.

(I was gonna hyperlink to this video but didn't want anyone to miss out on this little treat! Word of advice - don't watch this if you're at work...)


... and the hits just keep on comin'!

The following is an excerpt from

"In celebration of Coach’s first flagship store opening in Shanghai, China, Coach launched the Star Totes Charity Project. What’s interesting about Star Totes is that it is an online philanthropic campaign in which celebrities from around the world designed one of a kind Coach totes."

What's also interesting about the charity project is that Kristen Stewart designed a bag, and it is 'totes' stylish...

...... NOT!!!

Robsten_4ever writes, "Omg I have to get this!!!! "

Really.. REALLY?!

I've seen other fan fails WAAAY better than this! To give you an idea of what other stars are turning in, check out these bags by Jennifer Aniston, Lucy Liu, Gigi Leung and Alex Su:

Much more amazing handbags turned in by the stars here. I guess it's a good thing Stewy's art is acting, right?

If you can read Chinese, do let us know the going rate for the Kristen purse, would ya?

Monkey Monday: SBL Special

Disaster struck 100 Monkeys at the Spencer Bell Legacy show in Dallas this weekend when there was a fucking power cut. But because the boys are LEGENDS they kept the crowd entertained with an awesome dance-off until the electricity came back on.

This vid is a bit dark (there was no frickin' power, OK?!) but check out Jerad's back somersault at 00:42!! He's so boyband.

Luckily, the power came back and the guys put on an awesome show, which you can see here (100 Monkeys come on after about 25 mins). Here's their cover of the Spencer Bell song Twenty to One (with backing vocals by the fan who recorded it!).

Jackson on drums.... *knicker explosion*

Finally, we just want to give a 'little' wave to all the Monkey junkies who joined us on Twitter @Robs_Closet over the weekend. Thanks for the follow, guys! Be sure to check out The Rathboner archives. There's some fucked up shit in there. You'll love it. ;)

Shoe Fail!

Oh,, we can always count on you for countless fan fails! You have not failed to disappoint, yet again!

Here we have the $2 dollar Old Navy flip flops covered black, red, and white lacey frillies and a bottle cap pic of Twilight Edward and Bella (probably the worst pic of E/B, too).

Not bad for five bucks (or 3.23 GBP).

[Source: 5ctbauble via LMCullen. Thanks for this one, ladies!]

Googlewhack! "Jacob Black is.."

Couldn't leave the wolf girls out!

Hmm, it seems the Taylor fans are a little more gracious with their Google search. Be sure to check out Googlewhack Bella here and Googlewhack Edward here.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

FAN FAIL Wolf Pack Special

Yikes! Looks like Embry's been eating too many of Emily's muffins....

Googlewhack! "Bella Swan is..."

Good old Google does it again. It's like it can read our minds.

Don't know what a Mary Sue is? No, I didn't have a fucking clue either - had to Urban Dick it... Sadly, it's not as rude as it sounds.

Is it just me..

... or does Robward give one hell of a bitch face in these Eclipse trailer screen shots?

Bitch Face #1: "Oh hell naw, you best not be trying to talk to ME.."

Bitch Face #2: "Bella is my woman, son! Sit..the fuck...DOWN."

Bitch Face #3: "You said if I like it put a ring on it. Now you don't like the fuckin' ring?!"

Not a bitch face :)

Robward can make a constipated look if he wanted, but he'll always win us back with a pic like that. Or a pick like this.

Shag Me Sunday: Rathboner Special!

Tattoo? Check. Fingerporn? Check. Just get me a pair of Shamanties and I'm all set.
Thanks eccrackward!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

CRAPSTEN: Circle of Truth

Sorry Team Denial and Oregsten fans, but The Circle of Truth never lies - there is definite gropage going on here.
And for those of you who think Rob is just doing the gentlemanly thing and giving K-Stew some 'support' because she clearly forgot to wear a bra, I just have one thing to say to you...

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