Monday, December 21, 2009

Daniel Cudmore's Throbbing Stick of Manhood** is Kickass

While making pigs in a blanket today, I thought about wieners. I love wieners. You love wieners as well. Don't even pull that shit with me. Let's talk throbbing sticks of manhood**.

For years women have created formulas and charts to relate men's measurements to penis size. This was done to weed out the "smallies" in ample time without the strains of an unfruitful relationship. Here's one man you'll never have to doubt: Daniel Cudmore. D is for Daniel's Dick. Hell. Yes.

This man is m-a-s-s-i-v-e. Height, girth, shoes, muscle size, bone mass, you name it. How could Daniel NOT be packing heat?! Even more, how could he NOT be an amazing fuck?!

Every time I look at Daniel now, all I think about is him being hung like a horse and giving out unicorn rides like a fucking merry-go-round (thanks for that visual, RIMR). On a "Men of Twilight Penis Size" chart, he's number one in my book, WITH a gold star!

Let's take a moment to appreciate the Volturi vamp who has the gift of making ladies feel extreme pleasure courtesy of his marble pole.

"This might hurt just a little..."

Phoenix MP3--This is for you!

** Attention: The previous word used in the title of this post, "P**n", has officially been banned from Rob's Closet. From this moment forward, any and every other word will be used in its place. I apologize for any inconvenience. --Updated Per MB 2/2/10
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