- Knicker Explosions
- FAN FAIL
- The Rathboner
- The Top Shelf
- I fucking love him but...
- DIRTY LAUNDRY
- Is it just me?
- Rob's Claus-it
- The Rest Versus...
- Monkey Magic
- Rob vs...
- Oooo I hate...
- Catherine Hardwicke...What a C*nt.
- Rob's Sack
- Circle of Truth
- No Chon No
- Sunday best
Monday, November 30, 2009
While we waited patiently for New Moon to come out, Eclipse Director, David Slade (@David_A_Slade on Twitter), has been graciously tweeting exclusive details (which I still pretend are for my eyes only).
You can imagine my excitement then, every time Mr. Slade tweets...
And... thanks to his latest tweet, you can also imagine my extreme disappointment.
Dear David Slade,
You cannot CANNOT tweet about anything relating to Eclipse post production, and then post ridiculous twit pics like this:
We freaking love you, but really?! What-the-fuck-is-this-shit?! You're playing games with our heart, and I don't like it. So, unless you are going to continue to tweet awesome pics like these:
Please do not twit pic at all. Don't build me up, Buttercup.
Might I suggest you take twit pic advice from our friend, @GilBirmingham ? He really knows how to share the goods:
Let's recap: Eclipse photos only: GOOD. Weird artsy stuff NOT related to Eclipse: BAD.
PS. We're @Robs_Closet on Twitter, in case you wanted to follows us. We know you want to.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
That's right - Rob's Closet is giving away a FREE SHIRTLESS JACKSON with every box of RC Tampons! Don't say we never do anything for you. ;)
But imagine my surprise when I came home to trawl the internet for pictures of shirtless Edward to use for evidence (all in the name of research, of course!) and discovered the following:
Friday, November 27, 2009
It starts off with Rob saying "It's fucking awesome." Need I say more? For your listening pleasure, here is 5:33 of New Moon cast cursing. Enjoy!
Thanks, again, ErynJE. You foul mouth heathen, you.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Have they been reading Rob's Closet lately?? Is our foul mouth rubbing off on the cast??
1. Carlisle: … even if we are damned.. <---- don’t even get me started on the ‘D’ word
Bella: ..damned as in.. HELL? <--- yes, it still counts there
2. (Bella pulls up with dirt bikes at Jacob’s house)
Jacob: Bella! Where the HELL have you been, loca??
3. (Bella runs in to her kitchen after seeing Laurent and the Wolf Pack)
Bella: Charlie! They are NOT bears.. they’re.. they’re.. wolves!
Charlie: What? Bella, what the HELL are you doing out in the woods??
4. (Bella jumps off cliff, Jake rescues her)
Jake: Bella! What the HELL were you thinking??
5. (Bella comes home after cliff diving)
Alice: Bella, do you want to tell me how you’re still alive? What the HELL were you thinking jumping off a cliff??
6. (In Volterra, after the Edward rescue)
Felix: The girl comes with us.
Edward: You can go to HELL.
7. (Jacob throws rocks at Bella's window)
Bella: Jake, what the HELL are you doing??
8. (Charlie telling Bella she should go to Jacksonville)
Charlie: Bella, your behavior is starting to scare the HELL out of me.
9. (At the Vote)
Emmett: I vote, HELL yes! We'll find some other way to pick a fight with these Volturi!
10. (After the movies with Jessica, when Bella gets on a bike with a stranger)
Jessica: Ok, do you want to tell me what the HELL you were thinking??
11. (Bella sees the Wolf Pack cliff diving)
Jacob: It's scary as HELL, but it's such a rush.
12. (At the end, when Jacob reminds Edward of the treaty)
Jacob: You stay the HELL outta my head!
I think that's all of them. Have I left out any other ‘hell’s’??
Twelve times.. THAT’S TWELVE TIMES they use a swear word in New Moon. Not to mention the two ‘D’ words.
Wonder what swear words they’ll say in Eclipse? Or even better.. Breaking Dawn!? I’m really hoping for at least the ‘S’ word.
Thanks to MB for watching New Moon a FOURTH time and pointing out #7, #10, #11, and #12-- and ErynJE for contributing #8 and #9. What the HELL would I do without you girls?
Make sure you've checked out our first edition of 'Is it just me, New Moon special'
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
NOT KIDDING, FOLKS!!
Summit Entertainment (@Twilight on twitter) released a couple tweets the other day from Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner!! Hope you were wearing your shamwow panties when those tweets hit! Here they are, in case you've missed them:
And the final member for the Twilight Trinity..
Are these tweets legit? OF COURSE THEY FUCKING ARE!!! Isn't it amazing?! Rob, Kristen, and Taylor all went to a computer, called a Summit exec, asked for the @Twilight password, and tweeted their little hearts away!!! I jumped up and down like a little fan girl.
And it gets better.. the 3 main Saga stars didn't stop there!! They finally responded to my endless tweets!! Here, at Rob's Closet *cough cough, @Robs_Closet on twitter* we give you EXCLUSIVE SHOTS OF EVEN MORE CAST TWEETS!!!!
That being said, even CW, himself, is not perfect. For every 1,000,000 choices he makes that are RIGHT, 2 choices are wrong.
Whatever do I mean? How can I say such things about the wonderful Chris Weitz? Let me remind you of a certain fruit colored garment earlier this month...
THIS WAS THE BELLA VAMP VISION???!!
So, I'm REALLY into the movie at this point. I mean- Felix is about to rip off Edward's head, Bella begs Aro to kill her instead; it's all so wonderful. Right before Aro makes his move- Alice interjects with this vision. Ummm.. what the fuck is this vision, anyways? Alice, are you showing Aro that Bella will become a character from Little House on the Prairie?? Sorry, Chris Weitz, but this scene was just as atrocious as those orange pants.
Ok, so for everything that went RIGHT, I'm ok with these two minor (not-so-minor) mishaps. Don't let it happen again.
Monday, November 23, 2009
* Is it just me, or does Edward run like a girl?
* Is it just me, or does anyone else want to put Jared/Bronson in their pocket and take him out when they’re having a bad day? (I tried Jarson or Bronred but it just didn’t work!)
* Is it just me, or does anyone else suspect all Victoria’s lines were cut due to Rachelle-gate?
* Is it just me, or does Face Punch sound like an awesome movie?
* Is it just me, or is it really possible for a CGI wolf to make you cry?
* Is it just me, or has Charlie Swan gone up a few notches on the DILF-o-meter?
* Is it just me. or does anyone else wish Edward hadn't rang?
Well, you're not the only ones. After watching the Gods in Jorts, the 100 Monkeys have improvised a song for Taylor '32-pack' Lautner himself*, called 'Hot Dog'.
But of course, our little exception can still make a catastrophic event out of wearing a suit. Let's take a drift down memory lane with some of my favorite "Rob wearing a super sexy suit with a super shitty look on his face":
Crapsten was seen leaving Paris holding hands.
Sweet baby Jesus, need I say more??
<-------------- the picture that truly is worth a thousand words. Are they holding hands, does she just have her arm wrapped around his, did she just give him a hand job and is wiping herself clean on his sleeve? We don't know!! But surely this would send Crapsten fans over the edge. I was so sure the fan girl crapsten fans would all have heart attacks upon these pics, but alas- even they've surprised me.
Instead of shoving their outrageous opinions of crapsten down our throats and proclaiming us all 'blind idiots', they reacted completely the opposite.
Could it be true? Are even Crapsten fans taking a break??
Here are some crapsten comments from the 'Holding Hands in Paris' pics:
"Wow, Summit is going to really make them pay for these pics.. poor, poor 'R' word."
"I'm not even going to say anything other than LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY LOOK. That is all."
"I imagine this is what they'd look like walking down the aisle. Ah, great pic!!!!"
"I DON'T EVEN CARE IF THEY ARE DATING OR NOT, I JUST TRULY WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY! THAT IS ALL!"
Wow. No one threatened my life for being skeptical? My firstborn is not marked for death because I am not die hard crapsten?
In any event, I do love the pixelated pics of what RPattz and KStew are or are not doing.. hmm, a certain concert comes to mind...
Here we are, Word of the Day:
Fan Girl [fan gurl] adjective. "I've seen New Moon 5 times and I still go all fan girl when the movie starts."
Example 3: Your BFF will record the whole fan girl experience on your celly while friend #2 goes fan girl on Rob.
.... then it's safe to assume you have gone fan girl. It happens to all of us!
Holy Hell is there a lot of news to catch up on.. erm.. make fun of.. so much so that I'm going all fan girl trying to keep up!!
Special thanks from Rob's Closet to MB, for doing a fuck-awesome job of filling in while the rest of us were under a serious New Moon haze. Didn't she do fabulous folks?
As a special treat, we have none other than THE MAN himself to present MB with a little token of our appreciation.
Thanks, again! Can't wait til you're legit on here :-D
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
MB posting under RIMR_ <3
“I think it took a long time for Kristen to realize, O.K., I’ve got to give this a go and really try to be with this person.”
Why stir the already agitated pot with Crapsten tidbits that I’m sure you yourself honestly don’t remember? Do you even remember what you had for breakfast? I summed it up on another site concisely. Shoulda been best rated, bitches...
“i'd be pretty upset right about now if my former director were talking about this subject after i'd tried so hard to keep this exact information out of public spotlight.”
Roughly translated, that actually means: STOP BEING AN ATTENTION WHORE.
Plz & Thx <3
MB posting under RIMR_ <3
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I love her song on the soundtrack. Really I do. It’s amazing, beautiful, heartbreaking, and perfect for the film. Unfortunately, she’ll be the first one to tell you all those things. While hosting last night’s livestream interviews during the New Moon premier red carpet event in LA, Anya pimped out her song on the album to the stars of the movie at least 15 times. She even revealed where in the movie her song is played. (For those who didn’t watch it, no worries—I wouldn’t do that to you when we’re a mere 2 days away).
Here are the highlights: While hosting with that guy from MTV (who looked amazingly awkward standing next to her), Anya looked drunk, high, on acid, or a beautiful combination of all three. She called Kstew a “confection”, tried to explain to the viewers how she was in the future, and even tried to stake a claim on Kiowa. *snaps fingers in Z formation* Anya, he’s taken. Don’t make RIMR cut you. She told Paulex “good luck on being grounded”, asked Taylor if the cast texted each other (you have one minute and you ask that?), related the red carpet event to a zoo (specifically pointing out different safari animals), and even tried to promote her song to Kstew, who did a great job acting as if she gave a flying fuck.
Anya’s shameless promotion and lazy speech was the fail, but all in all the night was a great success for most involved. The best part was her perfectly timed silence. During the 90 seconds that glorious and impeccable Red Carpet Rob was on the livestream listening to a fan’s touching story and answering 1.5 questions, Anya kept her damn mouth shut. Hallelujah.
This leaves me to ask you all one thing. Who is the more far out space cadet: Anya Marina or Lady Gaga? When I first saw the “Satellite Heart” video, I thought she merely looked like the Queen of the Disco Stick. After last night, she’s so close to Gaga’s Fruit Loop status that the only thing missing is a trash bag over her head and a loyal gay following.
MB posting for RIMR - <3
Monday, November 16, 2009
I look at Robert Pattinson through rose colored glasses. Inspired by Juno, I would venture to say the sun does, in fact, shine out of his sweet, fine ass. Sure, he’s not perfect, per se. Previous installments of our “I fucking love him but...” segment point those out beautifully. Even still, I am quick to toss those things out the proverbial window and defend Spunk Ransom’s honor to the end. He is the scale to which other men in my life are measured. They are all found wanting.
Sure, he didn’t make the best fashion decisions circa 2005, what with the Harry Potter junket and all (red velvet blazer, anyone?). But who the hell cares?! It fades in the background when compared to his ribeye-steak-cutting jawline! How could you look at this fit specimen in the face and tell him to change? He makes up his own rules as he goes, dammit, and my libido will follow every one of those rules.
Now, even I can separate myself from the situation and see that this isn’t my “norm”. Since when did bathing twice a week become amazingly sexy to me? Is he mailing boxes of his dirty laundry across the country? Seems like the smart thing to do! A tattered Stoli shirt, button fly jeans, and black Nike’s make up the new 3-piece suit. Seeing him pick plumes of dandruff from his blesséd locks has me reaching for extra-strength Shammanties. He smokes like a friggin’ freight train? I’d still tap that! When did my former preppy-loving self go from “Ewwww, gross!” to “DO ME NOW!”???
Perhaps those questions will never be answered. When it comes to Rob, mystery is half the allure (Except when it comes to those sugar lumps! Reveal your mystery to me, you sexy man! I NEEEED the sugar lumps!!!) Either way, I’m not in the market to over analyze this. At least I have a clear conscience now. So what I will do in the meantime is sit back and enjoy everything that comes from and out of The Pattz—the man who simply can do no wrong.
I JUST FUCKING LOVE HIM!
MB posting for RIMR. <3
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
First we had Jackson in full drag, then we had Jackson in a dress, now we have Jackson in make-up. Is there something you want to tell us, Mr Rathbone? ;)
Now, can someone edit this video for me to remove the bearded lady scenes? She's totally ruining my drool-fest!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Believe it or not, these are actual test costumes for Edward Cullen. *shudders*
Saturday, November 7, 2009