Saturday, October 31, 2009

Is it just me? A Twihard revelation!!

How to know you are a Twi-hard...

So me and Leydy and LCB were chatting this morning, Leydy was in the queue for the Twitours at the time and bitched about the seeming lack of actual fans in the queue.  I knew exactly what she was talking about, and so did LCB. See when I was queuing to see the good doctor during his visit to Dublin, I came across this phenomenon.  The ‘fans’ in the queue around me didn’t seem to be too up on their Twi-trivia, in fact they seemed to have barely heard of Twilight at all.

Example: The girls in front of me didn’t know what the Wolf Pack was, and they didn’t know there was Teams. I felt like such a weirdo explaining the latter...they looked at me like I was speaking Klingon which i suppose, to them I was.

'Cause Ladies we need to admit it - We are fucking Trekkies for Twilight.  No two ways about it.  Twi-hards are not as common as you’d think! Sure everyone loves Twilight, everyone loves Rob, why wouldn’t they? BUT a girl in a Twilight queue with LCB didn’t know the name of Taylor Lautner’s character.  To us it is one and the same, we’ve even mashed em up! 

Whereas I find this downright offensive at anything Twi-related, I'm not too bothered by this in everyday life, I mean at a recent party I was approached by a woman who started our conversation by saying, 

“Oh I hear you are quite the twilight nut! Me too!!”

I was cautious but opened my closet door a little and said “Yes, are you excited about New Moon?” 
to which she replied, “What’s that?”...


Turns out she hadn't realised there were books at all...

So, lets point out what makes a Twi-hard different from someone who “loves Twilight”

we’ll refer to those others as TWI-Lights and us, the Twi-hards.

    • TWILights do not notice if Mushroom Ravioli is written on a menu.
    • TWILights see a magazine with KStew on the cover and think “hmmm is that the girl from twilight?”  - they are not buying ten copies in the vague hope that she mentions Twilight.
    • TWILights do not laugh hysterically whenever they hear someone say “google it”
    • TWILights are like Twihards in that they may have borrowed the books the first time they read them, however they didn’t rush out and buy every copy of every book Stephanie Meyer even fucking looked at in the shop afterwards. 
    • TWILights do not know the surnames, nor the christian names of every single cast member of the Twilight Saga. They do not know what other movies they are in, where they live, who they are married to, where they are on the planet at that moment, what their last tweet was and what their favorite scene to shoot was. 
    • TWILights do not wish Stephanie Meyer would finish Midnight Sun, they have not heard of Midnight Sun.
    • TWILights do not own standees.
    • TWILights may stand in line to see cast members but they do not weep while doing so. 
    • TWILights own only one copy of theTwilight movie if any at all.
    • TWILights do not rush to bookstands selling the Twilight Saga and rub the books. They have a copy, more copies do not excite them.
    • TWILights think ‘unicorns’ are mythical horses, don’t blush at the word ‘kitty’ nor do they say ‘cookie’ when they have had enough of something.
    • TWILights may know the names of some of the Volturi, they do not know the names of the wives.
    • TWILights are not jealous when a friend gets a postcard from Montepulciano.
    • TWILights don’t suffer from Twitter Thumb.
    • TWILights actually mind their children. They don’t put them in a box with a packet of cookies while they drool over new RPattz pictures...

I could go on forever, but my thumbs are aching and I need to go check my kids aren’t out of their box.  

Have you anymore examples? Love to hear them Ladies!!


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