HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
- Knicker Explosions
- FAN FAIL
- The Rathboner
- The Top Shelf
- I fucking love him but...
- DIRTY LAUNDRY
- Is it just me?
- Rob's Claus-it
- The Rest Versus...
- Monkey Magic
- Rob vs...
- Oooo I hate...
- Catherine Hardwicke...What a C*nt.
- Rob's Sack
- Circle of Truth
- No Chon No
- Sunday best
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Jackson & Ashley: "We resolve to finally get our act together and make Jackshley THE power couple of 2010."
Taylor: "I resolve to finally pop my cherry... after all, I will be legal on February 11th."
Xavier: "I resolve to smile more... after all, I am part of the hottest movie franchise in the world."
Wanna know how long left til Taylor's 18th birthday? Check out our Cougar Countdown...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
While other beefier stars are gracing covers like this, you are on what appears to be a cheesy animal magazine cover. You can do better, Kellan. Raise the bar a little, would ya? It's like, you'll just pose for anything...
Unless this is actually a picture of my Aunt Ruth, then I'm afraid this rates pretty high on the gay-o-meter. I mean, gayer than the Wide Awake epilogue (and THAT speaks volumes..)
*Rob's Closet is an equal opportunity lover of all sexual identities. We just like to pick at Justin Chon, but we fucking love him.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Our present to you is an unfinished copy of Midnight Sun and a package of Unisom. Go ahead, take a read, fall asleep, and have one of the amazing dreams you need to finish the book!
This is supposed to be: Jude Law's face, Shia LaBeouf's eyes,Tom Wellings's lips, Johnny Depp's beard and nose, Robert Pattinson's hair. WHAT...THE...FUCK?!
Someone should be fired for the blaspheme they've made of these stars.. how dare they disrespect Rob's glorious fucking hair?!
Twelve Broken Headboards
*takes a bow*
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Here’s how it works: We post the picture, and you comment below and give us your idea of the best caption or dialogue for it. You can go smutty (preferable), witty, WHATEVER! Then, click “Like” on the ones you…well…like. The person with the most “Likes” on her entry at the end of the contest wins a photo of herself (or himself) with Twihunk of choice! Yummy! We ship to (nearly) anywhere. What a fuck-awesome deal!
If you’ve never commented before, now’s the perfect time to get your ass in gear! Let’s see what you’ve got. Caption contest begins…RIGHT NOW!
While we all enjoy the odd tipple (and have had some hilarious PUIs - Posts Under the Influence), it's important to know our limits. Negative effects of alcohol include:
Wondering what kind of drunk Rob is? Check out the results of our recent poll!
New poll soon! Wait for it...
Monday, December 21, 2009
So THANK YOU Mommy & Daddy Rathbone!
And HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY JACKSON!!
from all @Robs_Closet
(especially Bean, who will be jumping out of your cake later)
This man is m-a-s-s-i-v-e. Height, girth, shoes, muscle size, bone mass, you name it. How could Daniel NOT be packing heat?! Even more, how could he NOT be an amazing fuck?!
Every time I look at Daniel now, all I think about is him being hung like a horse and giving out unicorn rides like a fucking merry-go-round (thanks for that visual, RIMR). On a "Men of Twilight Penis Size" chart, he's number one in my book, WITH a gold star!
Let's take a moment to appreciate the Volturi vamp who has the gift of making ladies feel extreme pleasure courtesy of his marble pole.
** Attention: The previous word used in the title of this post, "P**n", has officially been banned from Rob's Closet. From this moment forward, any and every other word will be used in its place. I apologize for any inconvenience. --Updated Per MB 2/2/10